★ SHERIL ; DD

2012-02-16T07:38:00.001-08:00

you took my love.

heyyyyyyy readers! im back. its been a busy week. ill update bout last sunday, telung's kuaran at pending road. well.... woke up early and got my stuffs ready. headed to 185. used blue eye-shadow makeup. honestly, i do not know of any make up stuffs all these. hais. so did my own simple way -_- shasha your so pathetic. haha....

so had our show jamming with Siji Loro. uhkay, it was okay. LOL. indeed a tiring day. hais. and oh, wanted to find bf<3 on tht day, he said he had my gummy bears w him :P so... went to search fr him th whole day from 11am-10pm and i couldnt find him. got to know frm him tht he was finding me too -_- uhhhyes! in th end, we couldnt even find each other. how terrible can it be? wanted to meeet him so badly... lols. and tupai is back! yay! :) changed at 9pm, and homed taking th train and bus. was so tired, tt i bathed and knockout straightaway.

th day before, went to 185 to abg's place w sister. slacked thre, and apparently wijaya was having training next door. yeahhh, he was there! when i reached, so kecoh -.- he was playing soccer w th rest. haha. sat around outside th house, played with my cats, same goes to kak mok, lala, apidd, sham. they were so excited to meet Kimie, Oreo and Puss. lovely. chatted w them, fooled around. and den arnd 7 plus, he left wit th rest~ :) then stayed w sister, sing sing stuffs. bought food for mum and headed to 238 :) homed at 11?

continued... this is irah, shairah<3 for us. yay! :) hehee. okay, currently im just surfing th net. SSP almost everyday. so far, our zones. we made it to th second round. unfortunately, we lost to NCHS and CHS :( its okay... well done team. tmw will be ending sch at 8pm. hais how tired cn i be? will be having art ssp till 5pm. followed by geog ssp till 6pm. followed by amaths ssp till 8pm :( THIS IS LIFE!! :< on saturday, might be meeting palat etc. bt im nt sure. sunday if i have time will be going to th hospital.. hais.

wonder how is bf doing now. prolly busy.. takecare. alrite readers, this are only some of th photos. more are in fb, i dont know why i cant upload them here-.- plus.. my common test 1 was total crap. i only scored 8/25 for my chem, 10/40 for emaths. 13.5/25 for bio which is really saddening. 21/25 fr SS! YAY FIRST IN CLASS!! :P 31/50 fr mt, and i frgt my geog marks. haha. DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW MY AMATHS MARKS. on my social being, been having many problems in sch lately with some people. pain-in-neck. grow up.

2012-02-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

next up.... yes of course. rafiq juraimy<3

many of you have been requesting me to blog about him right? so here i am, doing a post about him. im pondering, thinking of what shuld i even post about. haha, some are asking me to blog about how our love story began. th truth is that, back in 2006, i attended this tuition class in amk. somehow, this guy above, appeared to be in th same class as me. he's th so called, " hotstuff " where all th girls are crazy about him. everywhere they go, they would be running to me and saying, " omg shasha! youre sitting beside that handsome boy!! " im still young and only in pri 4, so i didnt really bother much. only then, our teacher made us sat together in class. oh well~ as days goes by, our friendship started to build. and i admired him. we did bad stuffs in class such as copying answers for test/exams, talk back to th teacher etc. even when before we sat together, he would cross talk from one end of th classroom, just to get for answers! awwwww. i admit that i turned bad and learnt th wrong stuffs from him! ooops!

only until one day....... our teacher was so mad at us for being so bad. we were caught talking in class again and she asked him a question, and he couldnt answer. thus, i was being scolded too are we were being called up to th teacher's desk infront. it was really embarrasing tho, but i find it funny. (Y) from there, just a few lessons attended, we both decided to quit that class. haha! not only that.... our teacher itself decided to retire and not teach anymore. guess we both were really too much and crime-partners uh? from there, that's when we went seperate ways. i didnt really had anything to ask, for his contact num etc. cause he doesnt own one.

3 years later......

in between those years, i've always thought back about the times i had at tht very special class. i was thinking, whre did this handsem guy go? its been so long and we have never met or bump into each other. or should i say, we lost contact? yep. there was no way i could contact him, as i had none! coincidentally, on 11 May 2009, my sister called me to come to 185 to watch kude kepang. honestly, i was so scared of kude kepang last time. it was my first time watching, and on that day. we were watching Wijaya Kusuma's. th moment i reached, a guy caught my eye. he seemed so familiar. someone whom i've missed so long. in my mind, " why is this guy so familiar? is he th guy whom i met back then in 2006? " many thoughts started rushing to my mind. i kept focusing on him, wherever i go, i would try to get a closer look. few weeks later, there was another show for Wijaya. it was a clementi. yep of course, first person whom i look out for was that guy and he kept looking at me. however this time round, not only was there one. i realised there was another guy that looks exactly like him. (admitting, th other guy was his , Rohaizat) ** skipping this part......

so, i finally realised. it was really him! we talked, we chatted through facebook, kude shows outside, it was really a coincidence that God made us meet again 3 years later. :) see how long th journey was waiting? 3 years! if not for my sister, i wouldnt meet him again! haha, so we got even closer. and this year, everything happened in a blink. i shuld say, he's th first guy whom accompanies me to study till late morning, 4am. sometimes, when i dont sleep, he'll keep me entertained till 6am. so what if its a long distance relationship? all that matters is loving each other. i cant contact him thru phone, cs his phone reallly..... can go throw inside th sea. also, during th day i would be schooling and coming home at night. while him, he would be out slacking whole nite till morning. its kinda hard at times to get to him, cause th only source we could contact is facebook! <3 thank god facebook is created. wanna know some jokes? we do quarrel everytime. but not as terrible, cause why? after every cute misunderstandings, we would be fine again. just like th way how we start a normal convo. besides, he does have expectations and rules for me. to me, tht's really nice of a guy to do something for a girl, taking care of her well-being too ya know? im busy studying everyday, and he has a timing for me to stop studying at 2am and go to sleep. or else.... he'll just whack me. joking! for me, of course i too have. like, his bed time i would make sure he reaches home by 3am and sometimes depends on whether he wanna come home late or early. he likes to find problem with me uh-.- forever disturbing me!!!!!

well, guess everything's working really fine now :) very blessed to have him in my life, and now its 1.07am. I do not know where is he on earth now. im going to kill him soon, haha. that's all readers. what more do you wanna know? do leave any ques at my fs, and ill look them up. hope you guys enjoyed reading my lovestory, <3 - and he loves my eyes alot, which i dont know why...

ps : hoi mat! you better be honoured i posted something bout you ok? since people ask.... hmmmm ily<3

2012-02-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

mind your words.

i really despise girls who blame the third party for taking what's their's when its meant to be, its meant to. stop trying to put the blame on others. blame yourself for your mistakes, instead of pushing the blame to someone else. you're making them feel as if were the bad one hurting the one you love, when you're the first one to hurt them. peace♥

i aint gonna touch on this today for now. i just wanna pen down my thoughts which i wanna focus more on. backstabbers. what are backstabbers? they are people, who have the bad side, ugly disguise which they display behind someone's back, and look good infront. these people are called hypocrites. they dont realise, by backstabbing, what do they get? nothing. just no-value-addedness. i suggest them, to do something much more worthwhile or breathe taking rather than just backstab someone for no apparent reason. some people backstab, for the sake of fun and to satisfy their hatred towards someone. vengeance, hatred, anger fill them.

words.

becareful of what you say. words that come from your mouth might just come back stumbling onto yours one day, when karma will strike back to you. a reason im doing this post, is - why do this? as relating to my life now, i do hear some stories about certain people whom i knew, took them as a role model, to be able to lead in the future, never talked bad behind them, ending up to turn into the opposite way. i dont like the fact when i took them as role models, they proved me wrong. i was bewildered by suprise, after 4 years of being in th same school, behind closed doors, you betrayed my trust. like what i say, karma will hit back. even if you wanna do this to me, have you ever thought of the good deeds i did to you? and th good impression that i had of you? undescribable attitude.

beauty is but skin deep. what for you have a pretty face, but with a suckish attitude? all will just go down the drain. to be simplified, TWO FACED.

i really hate two faced people. sometimes, when we dont cause any conflicts or misunderstanding, these group of people enjoy causing trouble. however, i cant let all these remorseful remarks and just stay in the dark forever. i rather stand up for my rights, and fight back for which i think is the right thing to do. apart from that, hypocrites. at first you're so nice, and in 2 mins, you've turned all bad. its just because some small trivial matters, and youre brewing a storm in a teacup. seriously, get a life instead of backstabbing people from th back. how would you feel if it was you instead? no one would like it. do understand everyone's feelings. you backstab about somebody who didnt even cause any trouble. nothing could ever change their mindset, since they're just used to these bad influences.

" hatred. building up slowly in within you, trying to claw its way out of a strong barrier you've built using your emotions. not letting it soar freely out. "

that's what im undergoing right now. everything seems to be so unclear. friendships seems to be unstable with those whom i got to know to be in this very picture. i had the thought of wanting to confront em, but hey. what's th point? let them have their say. they dont know that people out there too have a say about them. just move on with, and stand out and prove to them your way better off than them. based on this, i realise never trust someone so easily. dont judge people too by th way they look. who knows? deep inside? they're just threatrening monsters xx

2012-02-10T07:28:00.000-08:00

cut me deeper.

hi my dearest readers! im back :) millions of apologies, haha. i bet everyone would be tired of listening to my same old line, " million of apologies! " well.... life's been ravishingly rushing and hectic. why? im down with Common Test 1! im very busy studying till late 4am, but yet nothing enters my brain. how ironic. well, gonna do some updates lately. as far as i cn know....

well, as you can see from th pictures above, these were taken on 4 Feb on a Saturday. yes! it was Ahpai's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABG! youre 20 alrd, last forever until married okay w my sister? you break her heart, i break your face. went over to changi, for his bbq pit. i should say i woke up pretty late.... 1pm! and i reached changi arnd 3pm. Sis, Ahteng, Pipi, Ahpai, Aimy and Ahpekk were there :) including Abg's parents, well. we didnt really do much stuffs except sing, talk and bbq th fish! (Y) ohsome. around 5.30pm, i made a move to Pasir Ris fr Zaki's pit. it was at pasir ris park.... so a 15 mins walk from downtown! :< dang it. well, T9 peeps were there, and so many more. :) went off half and hour later, since mum wanted to meet me at downtown. had dinner w my family, and walked bck to th park. ALONE! its scary to be walking alone in th park, no kidding... homed w Cat, Haikal, Ayam at 10 30pm. while Haikel, Rashe, Aidil sent us off :) thanks!

look at my big sister :)

on th other hand...... im still wurking on my olevel art coursework. im still stuck w board 2! STRESSS! :( d pic above, was done using pen. it was my first time trying tho... since i was so used to pencil. i tot of trying to take a new challenge. well, overall. my shading is still like crap :/ and my ox looks like a strawberry! *trollz* art is taking up my time! :< yet, i still have to complete it. common test was screwed up so far. i didnt really focus much, cause thruout th paper, i was half sleeping. feeling lethargic nowdays, not enuf sleep. hais.

look! our class has a mirror! haha :) reason being, we girls dont hafta go to th toilet often to make our hair. true. (Y) and oh, today. marks th end of common test 1. common test 2 is round th corner, in just 2 weeks time! hais :/ just gonna treasure my friday nite today! after sch, as usual. didnt attend SSP. too lazy -_- instead went to Little India w bestie, Faziraa<333 to get loceng kaki. bought em at $25. den we headed to Nex to have lunch at Pastamania! cant believe i burned $48 -.- homed... and out to training. today's training was fun! #SKSSTEAMHOOD! :D homed, and now im on my lappy. just relaxing my brain after studying so much. still, i think im gonna flung my papers! tskkkkkk, shall do another post after this. ;) oh! Telung will be having kluaran w Siji Loro on sunday. will be going thre! xx

how are you?

2012-02-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

life.

sometimes, i feel tired. school school school and truckloads of homework. nowdays, im being pinned down with just more and more work. its really tiring and i just seem to not have any motivation at all to study. apart from that, im starting my common test alrd. which was ytd, english. :( i love writing, cause it helps me widens my imagination. but however, i just cant seem to focus.

concentration.

do you know that concentration is really important? without it, i doubt i would have a hard time studying.. not only that, skssteamboys&girls managed to get into second round. it was a really hard fight for us girls. we played vs anderson, and it was a hard game of 18-21. we won by th last 1 min 52 seconds. close call :/ at first we were draw.. but thankgod, i played till i couldnt even catch my breath! goodjob girls :') we did it! we just nid to win NCHS to get top 4 :) its gonna be hard.. but remember, focus. right after match, we had training. i swear, i was tired. my energy level dropped to 0% that i cant even move my legs. im still sick, and its past 12 days already. im still coughing my ass out every now and then :/ hais. hafta get well soon! also, cause of basketball trainings/matches, my energy is being drained. whenever i reach home from sch after training, i would be really tired and whenever i wanna do my revision, i would be literally dead or sleep on my table instead. hais. i cant concentrate! every nite, i would either sleep late until 2am-3am just to complete my hmk or revise. :( its really tiring. plus, i have my art coursework to finish up. usually, i would stay up on friday, 11pm-6am. or maybe midnite onwards just to complete my board. see how hectic my life is? and sat i have amaths class at 9am. depends on whether i wanna attend it or not. ive been lagging in my maths and bio too! :'< breaking down soon...

im sorry readers, its currently 1.46am and i have to cut short my post fr now. ill continue updating my blog tmw okay? i promise. i end sch at 9pm tmw.. what a life. and im really tired now. needa sleep by 2am, since bb asked me to. before i end...

1st Month, <3

time flies so fast. and look, its our first mth already. :) he's th first guy that accompanies me every night until 2-3am without fail, just to wait for me to sleep den he will sleep. how sweeet?! :') but he... he's very weird. he would be slacking all nite and only sleep during th day. T.T he ah!!! haha, bt nvm. i love him<3 his funny. haha, 1st month. loveyoualotbatman♥♥♥♥

2012-01-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

freedom.

In my point of view, freedom to me means to have the will and power to determine action without restraint. Be it in life, or choices needed to be made to decide something. Having freedom to do anything freely without the need to hesitate to think back twice before doing something. Everybody, you, me is borned to become free. Freedom comes from different aspects relying on one's opinions. Freedom is the right to do what one wants, live where he wants, eat what he wants and chooses the religion in which he believes without ignoring or harming other rights.

Freedom is important to everyone. If someone is deprived from this innate right, he will definitely feel as if he is not a respectful human being. When freedom is guaranteed, I can think freely, go where i want, say my opinion without fear from people who would not like my opinion. To me, as im a teenager, " Freedom " means alot to me. It is an important key factor in life for me to be able to do things my own, without my parent's permission. However, it seems that I'm not granted my freedom yet as I'm only turning 16 this year. However, freedom is important to teens nowdays to build our character and stable our personality. Some teens just wanna have fun outside enjoying their leisure time spending with friends just to end off their day after a hard day work of studying in school. They want to do whatever they like, and do not like. By having freedom, each teen will enjoy their lives away to the fullest. However, if their freedom have no limitations, they might just be lost.

Therefore, parents should lookout for their children's freedom. Give them freedom, but have limits. No one wants to see a spoilt child growing up to be somebody that's not worthy to the society. If given too much freedom, teenagers might just get influenced by outsider friends then turn bad. Who knows one day they might learn their language and end up saying the wrong things? Words slice through deeper than a sword can pierce a body. Somehow, if teenagers are given too much freedom, they might misuse it. They would turn imperious and egoistic and would ask for more than what they need. Its a wakeup call to parents who've been giving too much freedom to their children who are starting to become a pain in the neck.

Alast, freedom is still needed for teens. Without freedom, how are we gonna enjoy? Manage our time well? Balance between studies and playtime? Nobody likes being stranded at home all day long, rotting like a couch potato. If we teens dont get freedom, we might turn into a physchotric person which might lead to a no-life. In addition, we might suffer from eating disorders, health problems or many more. That's simply because of one reason, we get too stressed as we dont get freedom. Were all cooped up in the house all day long, not being able to go out and play under the sun and smell the flaura and fauna of the flowers in a nearby park. Without freedom, we teens know that our future wouldnt be as great.

We just want to be young, wild, free.

2012-01-27T05:52:00.000-08:00

nothing beats a mother's love.

i screamed, shouting my heart's out. it was as though, i was building sandcastles in th air. or maybe i was just dreaming? i wasnt. th temperature rised up, reaching almost to th boiling point. i was ravishingly in excruciating pain. i couldnt open my eyes. i cant even catch any glimpse of light. everything around me was just suddenly burning. my whole body ached, it felt like i was drown in a pool of hell's fire.

i couldnt feel myself, i was lost in thoughts. i was struggling to get free from those chains of burningness away from me as they are scalding my skin every now and then. blackness surrounded me, not forgetting bright red. angry red fire, and fury engulfing my soul. what have i done this time round? i tried to fight back with all my might. it was really and undeniably scary experience. i was trapped all alone in th fire, but i wasnt burning or melting. i just could feel th heat, instensing. adrenaline rush started up back to my spine. suddenly, tears came out water came to my rescue. where? a pool of water was in my eyes. tears of pain, joy, happiness, sadness. it was all unbearable. i wanted to shout, but i couldnt. all my energy was burnt. i decided, is this th end for me? no, i believed. i trusted God, i fought back. i opened my eyes, only having minimal difficulties. i was being wrathed in hotness. my whole body was shivering, and i was crying. i realised, th time was 7.45pm. my temperature was burning. i needed help. i knew my dad just came back home. he went to my room, but he didnt see me lying on my bed begging for help.

emergency.

alast, i stretched my right arm and reached for my phone behind me. i took it and with tears streaming down my cheeks, i texted my dad, " dad pls come to my room, i need you. " in a split second, my dad came. utterly shocked at looking how vegetable i am, and with tears in my ears, he asked me why. " my body, its hot, hot hot. pls get it off me, pls. " immediately my dad headed to th kitchen and took some wet towels, and a bowl with cold water and placed them at my forehead and my neck. th burning sensation cooled and it went down slowly. i was glad my dad saved me from that trap. right then, got ready quickly and headed to th nearest clinic. th feeling of walking, nt even feeling your legs touching th ground. my head was heavy, and couldnt even see where i was walking.

waited.....

it was my turn to be checked. i was th last patient. indeed i couldnt bear th pain anymore waiting for 1 and half hour. upon being checked, to my horror, i almost fainted hearing what th doctor said. i was down with high fever, drowziness and Gastroenteritis(stomachvirus).

words slice through deeper than a sword can ever pierce a body.

i trudged home with a heavy. took my medicine and off to bed. i was sick since CNY, till now. its been 5 days, and im recovering slowly. alhamdullilah. :) thanks to bb for being so concerned and i dont even know how he know.... and also my sister, and of course my friend, py :) she sacrificed her time just to send my hmk... gosh, how sweet cn she be? thanks alot! yes. im recovering, and im really happy. just need to keep eating my medicine and takecare that's all. :) just a brief update about today. it's my mum's turn to be sick. :( gosh, so many challenges in life. i slept at 5.30am and woke up at 3pm. naise brought my mum to th doctor, and den headed to cp library to get some books for my art. bought shixuan's stitch and some food for mum. :) and now im homed, gonna start my art prolly at 10.30pm and burn my midnite away. blog again readers. xx

2012-01-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

beauty is but skin deep.

i sincerely hate and despise people who look down on others. who are they to look down on people? judging on people's faces, life. they certainly dont have anything better to do in life. if your worth fighting for, that's th reason why im fighting for my rights.

firstly, if people were to ever look down on you, dont let them ever hinder you down. every girl is beautiful in their own ways. pick yourself up from where you fall. God created us all in a special way, that's one reason why everyone is special and unique. we have to be grateful to Him for letting us be here on earth. who knows? you might be a popstar one day when you grow up to th cliche? we might not know. never judge a book by its cover without knowing its contents. let me tell you th story of th Ugly Duckling. im sure everybody knows that story very well. i shall just recap. so there's this small little duckling, which has black feathers unlike his other siblings. he's the only odd duck and he feels left out. one day, he went off alone as he couldnt stand anymore as he feels that he's nt part of th family. he sees his siblings grow up to become beautiful swans. the ugly duckling felt very demoralised, as he thinks that he cant be just like them one day. one day, on this very special day, that little duckling woke up, looking at himself in th clear reflections of th glistening water, th ugly duckling transformed magically into a beautiful swan. he was amazed by his wildest imaginations.

isnt it ironic? you wont know what you will become in 10-20 years time. only fate will decide. no matter how people look down on you, they will just make you feel demoralised. the reason why they did that? they just wanna see you fall. do you like people looking at you and laughing at you? precisely, no. take away that disguise you have in you, and put a strong font display infront of you. i believe that if you put your strong font, people wont be able to make you fall. like what i've said at my previous post, " Chances. " give yourself a chance! dont let your pride wash away.

if you dont let yourself be who you are, how are you gonna be yourself?

if you keep thinking your just someone who has no class and always someone low, change that negative mindset of yours. you might not know that you look pretty to some other people's eyes. if you keep thinking you're not up to standard as them, why bother? its your own life. choose your right path. they are just haters. if you hate them, it makes you a hater too ya know? i suggest, move on with life and ignore all those harsh comments. never deceive looks. karma is a bitch. who knows those negative comments will just come and stumble on their flat faces one day.

" saying someone ugly doesnt makes you any better. saying your not perfect, doesnt makes you perfect either. saying someone stupid, doesnt makes you clever. "

be wise and stay strong, they will pay th price. its not like their borned innately like a Diva.

- shashaa xx ♥

2012-01-23T23:31:00.000-08:00

in another life, i would be your girl.

its back to random posting. see that girl? tht's my long lost twin. <3 haha. well, i feel lazy to blog or post anything, cause i just dont have the mood to. im really busy nowdays. just a quick update. on sat Telung had kluaran jamming with other 2 groups. it was kinda cockup tho, and yesterday Wijaya had kluaran. and they sent me home, thankyou<3 well i really dont know what to blog about. guess im still sick and cant think properly. had high fever yesterday. its kinda ironic how panadol is supposed to make me feel better, but ended up i threw up. haha! well... anyways, happy chinese new year! :) its a tues and there's sch tmw. i still cant believe how screwed i am that i have nt started my art O Level Coursework. dang it. oh wait!! i have something to post about!! since something just popped up... will be posting a new post right after this post. :)

2012-01-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

insecurities.

you've got that feeling of being insecure. you think that no one else out there spares a thought for you. we dont realise upon looking down on ourselves as failures, people out there are hyperly cheering on for you to not stop whatever you are doing. honest fact, they want to see you take a step higher ahead of them. yep, im talking about love. recently, two of my ladies are in need of someone to talk to. yes, its my part to help them and comfort them. they are my friends, and i dont want anyone of them to have an unfolded heart at the end of th day. its not nice to see someone who've once helped you, now crying to themselves to bed every night before they go to sleep. just one thing for sure, they still love the ones who left them whole-heartedly.

have a positive mind of where eventhough they left you, they're still there for you. there's a valid reason to as why they left. girls have ego, yet we cant control it. girls would start blaming th guys without second thought, thus making th guy feel much more worse than what he is going thru which is a hell of a life, trying to patch things up while youre there, breaking him to pieces like a broken doll lying down on a street, in a pool of blood after surviving a terrible car crash. if your guy decides to leave you for good, but still holds on to you, it shows one thing. they've never forgotten th true meaning of love. there lies a silver lining in th sky, which has a fill of peril and curiosity in both eyes, " are we even gonna make it if we go on separate ways? " that's the most punching line every couple has once they broke up.

feelings crashed in split seconds.

sometimes we dont realise that whatever one decide is good enough to save both and also the relationship. one doesnt even know he/she has th power to bring back up th tumbled love that has faded, to get back in line and start anew again. why? dark ominous thoughts are starting to collade and infect their minds, to change the ways and points of view on their opinions on love. does patching up or being close friends th best solution? it all matters in th heart. you've gotta follow what your tiny little heart says. as for me, patching up might be best suited for couples who'm had a long journey through th rough times and roller coaster rides, overcoming fights and tiniest little conflicts in between them. they know best that they're not ready to just give up all those memories and let th memories ebb away just like sand on th seashore being washed away.

on the other hand, becoming bestfriends sure is another comprehensive solution. yet, a bestfriend's relationship certainly do last longer. face reality, bestfriends understand one another's feelings, unraveling secrets etc. bestfriends are always there for one another, in times of desperate help and need. take it for me as an example, i sure do have a few bestfriends who'm i can rely my trust on. they've never betrayed me in life before, and thus its worth it to have a bestfriend to pour all your feelings out. it sure do makes a difference in your life! back to the situation, eventhough becoming bestfriends after breaking up, there's always a crack in th middle of that joined-heart, " i still cant believe your not mine anymore. " that certainly rings up one's mind, where it leaves a trace in their heads. its hard to accept the fact that they are bestfriends, but do spare a thought that, whatever decision you both make, respect it. respect yourself before you want others to respect you. never fail to drop that love-dust in your hands and let th wind carry away. you might not know, these solutions actually help you, to rebutt your insecurities you've been planting in you all these while.

2012-01-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

th reason why i changed, is because you changed.

good evening lovely readers, :) its a beautiful night today, with the moon shining and glistening acrossthe crimson puddles of water. looking out through th windows, letting th wind caress my face. what a cold night breeze, sure a night to relax and take a break from studying for th weekends! life's been hectic as well, and i've been rushing things every now and then, that i even lost track of time. imagine how tiring it is? to be in school, with th humid weather, having training's under th ravishing hot sun. if only i was innately undead, i wouldnt even bother about these little things. haha! *giggles*

as you can see... i've been putting my utmost effort to study and complete my assignments given everyday to th extent that i feel tired and lethargic. not to forget, revision! summing up whatever i've learnt during the day in school, it doesnt hurts to at least take an hour per night for at least some subjects to be revised. well, probably it just helps me recap. i believe that if i work really hard, i wont be feeling useless at th end of th day. always end off your day good, so when you wake up th next day. - you wont feel like you've just wasted another day of your life. do something productive. i've cut down th usage of my laptop, as i find it a distraction. however, i do tweet too. yep, TIGGERS! i love tiggers. they are just the most cutest creatures on earth. if only tiggers exist, but well. this are just beyond my imagination! face reality little girl, :> heh there's no tiggers on earth!

we are the best leaders in SengkangSecondary! :) look at how all of us bonded together in just 4 days. i've never expected all of us to come together, from different classes, streams. to work together and make our juniors have a blast of their lifetimes! its a fact that im nt gonna forget these TEAM of Leaders of 2012. :) here's just some photos we've snapped during CNY's celebration in sch today. HAPPY CNY!

right..... it was kinda boring. i practically couldnt sit still so i became crazy like a monkey. you cant expect someone to sit so still right? bloopers! haha! after that, headed to City Square Mall with bestfriend FAZIRA! and also Amil. bumped to HaikalRokstar my cousin too! had our lunch at Manhattan Fish Market. yum!

look at the scrumptious food! *drools.* it might be my first time dining there, but it was worth while. had a fun day spending with th two of them. :) headed back to sengkang to meet up with pals, at 213 and homed at 8pm. sure an exhausting day!

Bestfriends since 5 May 2003, <3

anyways... sweetheart was supposed to fetch me after sch, but he cant. cs he was working.... its okay. like what he say, " long distance relationship is hard. but i love her " you get that? of course i love him too, am i sweet?! haha! hello tadpoleboy ^^ i know you are reading my blog.

i hope whatever you've said isnt true.

2012-01-14T22:43:00.000-08:00

it doesnt matter how you look like, all tht matters is your heart.

give yourself a chance, to look at a different angle of yourself in the mirror. you might be very pretty to one's eyes, you might not know. dont deceive or look down on yourself just because you see that you dont deserve a chance to be standing out, and be cream of th crop. you might be special in your own ways where people actually look up to you and admire you, making you their role model. it would be a really honour if someone takes you as an example of a successor in life, for them to be able to look up ahead of them. self respect is essential if you want to lead a happy life. you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror everyday without being ashamed of what you see. you dont have to be pretentious, be you.

chances.

its all about chances. give yourself a chance. perhaps, there are some of my idols that i look up to. Chachi Gonzales take it for an example. she's always been my idol since young in terms of dancing. looking at the way she moves her body, taking every step to success, she sure has th hit to every girl's dream of becoming a true dancer when they grow up. you dont have to be a princess, to have a happy ending. its okay to be just an average girl who has a lot of dreams, who wants to be just like everyone else in life. however, we have to go through a lot of challenges, just to get tht dream of yours come true. as referring to this, CAMPFIRE! everyone loves campfire, so do i. i realise its all about confidence and being courageous to able to believe that i could do it. yes, i was away for some days as i was away for Sk's Sec 2 Level Camp. i was being told to facilitate them. it was worth th while facilitating my juniors, to at least pass them them th skills of becoming a leader. only in th last nite, i was being told to dance in front of th crowd. but wait.... take a look at this photo below. this photo depicts that my legs, really do look short. and i find kinda weird. *trolls*

moving on... as being told to dance, i wasnt able to think of any dance routine. i didnt have any time to plan, as i had to be dancing on th spot, on tht very time, and on tht particular nite. eventually i just had to make up my mind, and start dancing. i knew very well, how many mistakes i did. i totally felt like crap as i just made a fool out of myself infront of myself. but.... with friends, teachers, everyone supporting me, i felt relieve cause i knew i wasnt standing all alone. everyone was there dancing too. i feel happy to have everyone in my life. in life, always cherish th people you have. dont regret when their gone. be brave, and learn to trust yourself. take a step back and look deep into yourself, there's always a potential You in it.

- shashaa ♥ xx

2012-01-08T00:03:00.000-08:00

stranded with inevitable emotions that would indelibly stay etched in my mind.

every girl has a feeling that is locked deep in her heart that wont be easy to dispose off. in my mind now, yes you've got me right. i miss. mixed emotions fluttering and bustling through my mind every now and then just like having butterfllies in your stomach when your nervous, to wait for something bizzare, or a miracle to happen. your soul yearns to scream out aloud to be heard and let go of every feelings it has been bottling up, and spill out everything. and you wished you could go to the beach and scream your mighty hearts out without anybody's business. or maybe a flock of birds you see in the sky the moment you look up into the sky, every few seconds and you see them flying together. with the wind caressing your face gently and brushing your hair. listening to the gentle breeze and the sound of waves crashing into the seashore and the swaying of coconut trees. perhaps, you might even want to go and lock or make yourself disappear in this world just to stay away from everybody as you cant control your feelings whereby you just want to be alone.

picture-perfect memories.

your heart is broken to pieces, crying out loud just to get a little glimpse of hope shining through hoping that very little light would open someone's heart to realise that someone else is still waiting for the best of that person, to change. we cant erase those memories that you miss, cause our minds can see clearly and vividly those scattered little pictures or jigsaw-puzzles that are waiting to be fixed once again. on the other hand, there's always the darkest side of you, that is whispering into your ear, " it wont happen ", vice versa. and then all your wildest and negative thoughts start running and corrupting your mind, thinking that it would really wont happen. just like the ceiling, the ceiling depicts how i feel now. im confused and im just as still and quiet, but yet i have a strong side which is able to hold up all these emotions that are about to spill. without the base or cement for the ceiling, the ceiling is sure to fall apart. its undeniably true that i can just fall and collapse one day.

" how can i do without even letting myself have a chance on looking on the brighter side of life, even being alone? i might breakdown any time, but i must not. i cant stop procrastinating. cause i believe, fate will decide. "

take michael jordan for example. he is talented but he has to put in alot of hardwork and go through intense sweat and toll to emerge victorious in the match as there will definitely be an opponent who is as talented as him would threaten his chances of emerging victorious and shine above them. despite being victorious, there are times michael had to face alot of challenges such as facing injuries, after working so hard and yet able to fall anytime. as referring to reality, we cant just stop there. right? even if we miss someone, or cant control all the emotions that are haunting you, we cant stop fighting. with you thinking, wondering if you had ever crossed their minds. you cant stop looking at your phone, every now and then just hoping for a single text that would brighten your day rather than trudging home with a heavy and unfolded heart. you see their name or photos, on Twitter/Facebook which just sets you back thinking again, is it even worth it waiting for that special someone? a penny for your thoughts.

- shashaa ♥ xx

2012-01-07T06:21:00.000-08:00

in my life, there's no ever such words as " Giving Up ".

at many points of time, i find myself spending too much time over-thinking, over-dreading, over-analysing. upon been demoralised, i stood there and laid my head low and my guards down, never ever brave to fight back. despite showing the stronger side of me that i hid all these while, i forgotten to look up into the sky and see th words, " i can do it. " back to reality, who knows someday, somehow i might fight back all these denials i have in my mind and fight my wildest imaginations which might appear to be the utmost solution to the cliche expected. in my dictionary, i've found the most outstanding word pursue in life, that makes me move forward and take a deep step into chancing in becoming a comprehensive person - perseverence. basically, perseverence just has got to do with one's attitude which depicts the altitude of one's life. be it on roller coaster rides, or on a smooth journey on a boat, that swoozes smoothly on the brink of the deep blue sea. body, mind, soul.

in fact, i realise i've been giving in too much, and stood there rooted to the ground while being stepped on the head. lets take for an example, im still a student who is studying, and i dont work. for my school allowance, i only get it every two weeks. which means to say, i either survive with my own pocket money for the two weeks, before my allowance come. my mum, who is working, loves looking down on me and my attitude or a girl who loves to burn all her own cash away, and a girl who loves to disobey rules. no, you've got me wrong. im gonna be proving her, to what extent i disagree to her opinions of labelling me as that. one day, when time is yet to come, she will realise the real strong side of me, which i should have displayed to her when this happens when she loves to flatter about me. i felt like shit, as i couldnt do anything to change her perspective point of view of me, as what she thought me of. in fact, it wasnt true as what she had said about me. i take it as a lesson learnt, to not ever put my guards down since i felt demoralised at that time and continued my life to keep quiet, and disguise as the girl she labelled me of, which i wasnt.

throughout the years, i've let my pride down, and gone down the waste. its already a new year, 2012. and everything has to change. i wasnt solemnly deprived, in fact i took it as a source of motivation to not let my stranded emotions in my mind, to control over me and haunt me for the rest of my life. sometimes, i question myself " am i just not good enough? " as referred to this deadly situation, i kept thinking negative. on the hand, i knew i didnt unlock the real person inside me. my soul, who yearns to be free from whatever emotions that's stopping me to outshine the rest, and be the best. i had to be optimistic and stay positive, and take chances. in life, you have chances. when youre given an opportunity, use it. dont lose it. because chances dont pass by easily, and you have only once to benefit from them or just let it go down the drain. by putting my mindset targetting towards a better future, hell. i have to prove my mum what im made of. and no more of critisizing me, everything has to stop.

" dont you let anyone hinder you down, in what you want in life. its your life, its your choice. you decide, what your life is going to be and you make your own decisions. not others, but you. "

to do that, i have to take step by step such as climbing the stairs or a ladder. slow and steady wins the race? no. if youre slow, other people might catch up with you running under the ravishing hot sun and eventually take over you and cross the finishing line in split seconds even before you wanna blink. in my opinion, we have to be fast and think of ways to overcome all situations. if were fast enough, we can even reach the dreams we want beyond recognition. in attempt to display our emotions that are finally free, you will feel rejuvenated and freshed if everything goes the way you wanted it to be. when that happens, you'll be saying to your parents jauntily, " i did it mom and dad! i've proven you wrong! I'VE DONE IT! " try, dont just put your head low and be a mouse who hides behind mouseholes all day long. shine and be the best, prove to others what youre made of. dont let it go to waste.

- shashaa ♥, xx

2012-01-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

motivation.

helooooooo readers! ^^ finally i cn use my laptop after a week! yay, sry for a late reply of formspring ques :( i didnt use my lappy, instead i used my phone to surf my fb/tweet. :> any my phone's a bit laggy. feel like throwing it away you know -_- hahaa k. gt alot to post today.... if i cn rmb! gnna start posting from 1 Jan onwards!

1 Jan 2012, after countdown. went home late and didnt sleep th whole nite. and den.... woke up early th next morning. andd out of th house w ahpui. took van w abg ian's fam. reached bedok, did kendarat. fuaah, its so tiring. and there's only like 4-5 people helping? -.- and im like th only one working non stop... haish. well, day's over. gotten my 50 bucks!!! its been two weeks tht i managed to save and nvr touch tht $ so happy. aftr tht went to mei ling street to watch Dialok Sakti and Puspa? ok. damnn seram nye. one by one kene pass. haiyoo... den family TT, all headed to Jurong. to mumsterz place. helped to move around th boxes. i was with Kydah all th way. we cn become trolley girls siaaak -.- but its fun!!! and tiring... chatted and lpk until 1am? and bck to sk overnite at abg's place. joked arnd!! and fell asleep at 5am -.- oh damn Puss is so irritating cn? when i was sleeping, she kept playing w my hair, run around my face or slap my face w her tail. -_- but... i cn hear her Purrr. :) you know when cats purr, it means they are happi. ^^ hehe!!! okay.... cont. woke up bathe and off to Giant walkwalk and den to RP and then home. wht a tiring day. prepared fr sch, and off to sch th next day!

on tuesday, its th official start of sch fr 2012! and yes, th first day im gonna start studying fr my olevels. zzzz. well, it was kinda early tho. nth much, had training after sch. th next day, had training again. tired much... homework was a drag but yet bt come on man, im used to this. heeheh. :3 den training again!! on thur, after sch went to Temasek Poly. my objective and aim : HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT!!!! yes tht's it. aftr headed to sch fr CCA Carnival and campfire for sec 1's. i love my 1T7 ALOT!! <3 hehe. homed, did hmk, halfway = sleep. (Y)

today, after sch had SS lesson. den homed, and then out again fr training. and den homed. okayyy, dont want to post alot. haha! fr all i kno, th draws are out and Team Sk will be playing w Anderson, PeiHwa, Yishun and Woodgrove!! (Y) hehehe. okay shall train hard... tmw will be a sat and im having CIP at Rv. -.- there goes my saturday.... its okay!! ok nw for th exciting part........ shuld i post about how me and pipit gt together? since one anon asked.... haha come come give your opinions at fs!!! ^^ haha, alrite shall start studying now. xx so busy!

010112.

2011-12-31T11:37:00.000-08:00

1 Jan, 2012. a start of a new life. xx

kisses and winks from me to all of you babies! HAPPY NEW YEAR! may God bless all of you. always think positive, work hard, play hard && study hard okay? never give up in life. everyone has their own challenges to face. if you faced them in 2009, 2010, 2011 and you made it thru, its time to do it th same way again in 2012. be patient, im sure God has something great in store for your future! God loves people who are patient and learn to accept life as it is. He is fair, he loves all his creations. love yourself too. dont ever give up easily in life. turn to your friends, families if you have any problems. be happy, dont be sad. do it for yourself, and everybody around you who cares for you. im sure nobody wants to see you sad. it all lies in you, your heart. if you feel like your heartbroken, chins up! ^^ there's always more in th future! its not the end of th road for you. there's always a path of light, that is awaiting for your presence. :) nvr stop believing in yourself, as you know. time flies very fast, and you'll meet th man/woman of your life. if you perceive, you believe, you will achieve. happy new year readers. <3

hehe. so.... its 3.30am now. im gnna do a quick post! my countdwn was still okay eventho i had to come home early.. went to do my mum's gift. its nice!! i shall upload it on mon. :) had a hard time painting it you know.. den off to dwntwn sakura to have dinner with mum & her friends. den met up with Stone at Paya Lebar Mrt and off to Teh Tarek house at geylang to meet TT Family. chit chat and they went off to Kallang.. how i wish i could fllw them bt i cant. :( instead headed bck to sengkang, met up w acap, danny, akmal, malek, mirza. countdown!!! i cried while th fireworks were on and when th clock strikes midnite. i hope my wish come true.. dream on shasha.. hahaa. den went to 236 to slack awhile den homed with acap, malek and maria. :) nw im fb-ing and im gnna turn in soon. im very tired.. might be working tmw for one day, bt am on reserve list. damn it, bt wont be home tmw. will be out, so will be bck posting on mon! and den sch starts on tues -.-

Rafiq <3

see tht hansem guy?? how sweeet. i know a lot of readers will like... BAM! yes its a very long story... haha. but hey, he's so sweet. look, he gave me a suprise. hehehe, loveyouuu <3 010112. ill love you forever&always. ill always be w you. he's currently at boon lay tenga drinkmabuk. haiyoo.. he ah. haha shall off now. pipit <3

hais.

2011-12-30T08:44:00.000-08:00

i just want my wish to come true.

evening readers. :'> hahas. why w th sad face? nah, am listening to Ombak Rindu's song. it really brought me to tears.. really. th movie was really nice. but however, i still prefer Lagenda Budak Setan. its way more impactful to me, looking at how much a guy actually changed from a bad boy, to a good boy. and going thru so much in life, just to be with th girl he loves. no matter how hard it risks his life, he would do anything and overcome anything. hais... how i wished.. its okay. so... today gt awoken by sister's call. she said she was stucked outside th house. cs th door ledge was locked. aiyoh.. spoiled my dream. hais. th nite bfre at 3am, i didnt kno why but i cried looking at R's photo in ma phone.. hmmm.. :'< its okay im fine. :) haha.. woke up angrily -_- LOL. slept again.. and woke up late for my match. but nah. i reached in time at serangoon. match vs Zhonghua. dirty play. i hate it. and stupid unqualified referee. how many times must i shout and scream to get a foul in? pissed. but i couldnt play well. oh well... homed and played my laptop and den cleaned my room. i feel so happy my room is really clean! ^^ prepared for 2012 ^^ as if...

so yesterday, headed to town with bro and met up w family at Heren Sakura. celebrated my bro's birthday thre. damn... my stomach hurts. LOL. walked around at twn and homed. :) and ya know wht? i vomitted again. :< i dont understand myself realleh realleh.. i eat and vomit. wht does it mean -_- may as well i dont eat right? hais.... malas lah aku. haha. now am just staring at my laptop. and surfing th net. i dont even know wht's my plan for countdown.. :'( gg to dwntown only i know haiyo... i dk why but im having mixed feelings again...

ytd nite, i cried thinking of you. i was browsing thru my phone, and i saw your picture. why? why cant you js love me th way i love you? hmmm... 2011 is coming to an end already. i feel happy, at th same time sad. 2011 has been really a tought journey. meeting jerks on th way, getting my heartbroken, feeling stressed and so on. most importantly crying fr you. :') yet you dont even know. studying too hard, that i managed to overcome sec 3 life. im really happy. i didnt know tht time could really fly very fast. that's wht life is, its about th time you have and treasuring them. instead of wasting. our first photo taken was in 2010 aftr were separated. and th 2nd photo we took was in 2011. am looking forward for 2012's. you wish shasha you wish... damn. ill blog more on 1 Jan 2012. xx

pls return. i beg

2011-12-28T09:37:00.000-08:00

you could move on easily, but i cant. please spare some feelings for me.

hihi readers!! <3 wassup everibadi. hehe. well i gt alot of things to post today.. so ill just post lah k? :) hehe. so first.... today i woke up late. was supposed to meet elly and faz at 11 30am. ended up i woke up at 11 30am instead. LOL! siao eh.. washed up quickly and met elly at cp, took keys frm faz mum, and off to fazira's place. see tht girl on top^^ she's been my bestfriend for th past 6 years too. till now, she's th only one who actually knows most of my very deep deep secrets you know. hehe love you la pendek midgetsxc <3 heh. so we took our videos. and done. its so funny.... lol. den headed to mac RM fr lunch with faz and amil. did some of our mt hmk. ended up we didnt do. hah. so much for doing hmk.. its okay! wanted to get something for my mum, gt some gifftts. hehe. den headed to 236 to slack. ihsanbaby, acap, wandi, nana, idafih, wankotak, dinie, asri, zam, akighetto, aan, akmal , baby and somemore. ok i cn rmb all, my brain is still working. haha den at nite went to takraw at 238 den homed. at home, was supposed to be cleaning my room, and doing th gift fr my mum. ended up i didnt. hais. guess shall do it on fri.. and was talking to stone otp js nw. hah we are gay partners!!

and look... today is 29th Dec 2011, hehe. this guy hansem right?? my boyfriend lah chei...

no lah!! haha he's my idiotic brother. he like cb everyday like to throw my tiggers arnd. -.-

but nehmind.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER!!! semana jaoh nakal kau eh... aku ttp sayang kau tau!! go club lah, middle of th nite rave lah. you must be somebadi sia. you very irritating and i kno it. -.-"

next.. is my lovely mum and dad! i cant find my dad's photo o.o but nehmind, its their 27th anniversary ytd! i love you mum and dad. i know im very naughty and be a pain in th neck, you know i still love you right. ^^

hmmm.. well i guess, i really dont kno wht to post. O: tmw will be having match vs Anglican. oh god, pls wake me up!!! zzzzz, if i miss this match. wah jialat leh i die siao. lol. thn friday will be having match again, sat countdown at home, sunday kuaran. mon i think i will pengsan sia!!! hais... will clean my room and do all stupid sch shits by friday!! I WILL KK!! heeheheh. okay.. so just lazing my days away bfre new year. idk why bt im really excited fr sch to start! shuld recharge my energy bdre sch starts. and im broke -.-" gnna get $ from dad soon! yay! gudnite readers xx

i miss you. RJ RJ RJ RJ. hais

how i wish you knew.

2011-12-27T10:53:00.000-08:00

im officially missing you.

In my life I learned how to love, to smile, to Be happy, to Be strong,
to work hard, to Be best, to Be faithful, to forgive. But I couldn't learn how to forget you.. Some things are left undone, some words are left unsaid, some feelings are left unexpressed, but someone as sweet as could never be left unmissed. Knowing a person like u, has made me happy in a million ways. And if ever I have to let u go, I would find a million reasons to make u stay. You're always there for me through both the good times & the bad. You're always there to laugh w me, or to help me whn I'm sad. Down at the mall even though we had no money. Laughing at anything & everything, yet none of it was funny. Walking around the block, or watching movies all day, We never really ran out of things to say. We howled at the full moons, would spin at parks until we were sick, Helping each other through both thin & thick. But nw everything is gone.. I feel sometimes like I've truly lost my way. You know, sometimes it's hard to make it through the day. When I have the chance to sit & think. I stare ahead & never stop to blink. My heart is loudly crying out for u. My soul is crying out for love so true. I don't know hw I've made it this long. I don't know hw I've stayed so strong. I guess Im waiting for the day. When all of my pain will go away. Missing u gets easier every day because even though it's one day, further from the last time we saw each other & it's one day closer to the next time we will meet.

To : RJ .

arent you gnna pick up those broken pieces?

2011-12-26T00:04:00.000-08:00

no man no cry.

hello readers. hows everyone feeling lately? haha, im like someone's mom with 15 children, asking everyone of her child, hey mummy's here!! :> haha what am i talking?? o.o okay... so, xmas eve has passed, so is xmas. on xmas eve, wanted to meet Bintang Girl bt she was in indo. o.o okay nvm... so instead decided to accompany Joel and get his xmas oufits. didnt want to go town, cs im sure its gnna be packed like hell --" instead.. headed to nexx. picked some smarts for him, and bumped into his sister. and his nephew, tyreese was soo cute! :D haa. and ended up i did my own shopping. spending my $ like free flow. haiyo... needa cutdown, damn. bought highwaist shorts, and leopard print jacket. :) again! :D omg... den had dinner at mac, and met up with Kenneth and Kimberly. headed to sk dn to 236 awhile den homed. didnt celebrate xmas with father's chinese side... guess everibadi was busy. nor did i go down to orchard to buy xmas gifts. but hell, its okay. mum been buying me presents lately!! haha! okay..

so on xmas day on 25th dec, had iringan. woke up late and didnt get to bedok in time. so instead met TT at tamp. hahah wheees so fun. den to eshun, den to Mei Ling st to watch kude. came home late and gt trashing frm my dad. damn it man.... -.- haha hais. well, was rlly kinda sad and had no one to talk to ytd. instead i cried th whole night while sleeping and waking up feeling very tired D: hais. dont really wanna rmb abt wht happened yesterday.. hais. lol. okayy. its a monday today tmw will be having training .__. wed will be doing my mt project. and thur and fri having match vs Anglican and Zhonghua!! HOMAIGOD.... and sat will be countdown, den sunday will be kuaran! YAY!!! :D me and kak meera just hafta becareful cs Stone is gonna be sure finding us omaigod... okay.. so, i guess ill stop here. my otak blank srsly. i gt nth to blog about! readers if you have any topics or whatever, from th past experiences, pls formspring me. or else my blog will be bored. ._ okay, gnna get my sch shoes later at 5pm! and gnna clean up my study table. its so messy homaigod. and my mt hmk is halfway done. okay takecare. ilovemyWatanabes :)

i want 2011 to go so badly....

boombam.

2011-12-22T01:01:00.000-08:00

boy you got my heartbeat running away.

evening! its a boring thur today... and well im supposed to go for th Sec 1 duty but i couldnt since i had a match vs Dunman High. but... i didnt go for th match. how sad. i was too tired that i couldnt even wake up to my alarm clock sound, and also 12 miss calls -_- hais. guess i pushed myself to my limits alr. tido mati! (Y) haha.. so i woke up pretty late i guess. at 2.30pm. hais.. plan today ws to come bck from match and start doin my hmk. and its alr 4.50pm :/ gonna start work at 5pm!! :D oh ytd's match ws really slack.... didnt even knw what everyone was playing. but well. 5th place is alr good enough... :) and everyone brought home milo tin each!! hahaah cute :3 and ohh, tmw's plan for friday will be gg fr prize presentation. SO FAR! bt nehmind.. CHAMPION (Y) whohoooo. okay. and xmas will gg fr iringan if possible! hais im left wit $60 in ma bank. wonder what shuld i do with it man.. must really save up!! haiyo... ok this is a really short post. dont wanna do long and start doing my work now. shall blog some other times! xx

hais.

2011-12-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

barbie, where's your ken?

evening readers! how's everybadi feeling today? ^^ hahaa stop it ehk shashaaaa! :D its a wed today and i didnt update my blog for 5 days? shhh! shall update now..

17 December, Saturday.

went to meet Renee and Remus at Sk Mrt at 8.15am. how sad that i couldnt play for th match vs Mayflower on that day. but its okay, TEAM SENGKANG WON! (Y) mehehe. :3 ok bck to Saturday. so we headed to Dhoby Ghaut. and to Cosmoprof?? Renee started her first make up on me, so colourful! th one in pink dress. :) its called th Candy Make up. haha! den went for th first round of photoshoot. second make up, went for th Fashion one. its called th Dramatic Makeup. how cool! went for th second photoshoot, and then th photographer asked, - your good, you dont wanna be a model? here i give you my name card. whoopwhoop ^^ haha. but guess my height doesnt has its limits. come on, secret weapon. HEELS! HAHAHAH! (Y) ok stop it shasha...

it was raining terribly, so took a taxi to Fort Caning. since Telung had iringan.. i didnt bring my uniform. only wore a tube and white shirt over. didnt know on that day, Uncle Rock told me to lend Kak Noi's vest to cover up my tube and play th gamelan. ._. okay dpt gaji jgk! $10! :D oh.. i like my curls anyways. gonna do soft curls to my hair next year raya perhaps. :) hehe. den after iringan, headed to watch SCP. was bored.... den we went to Angkatan at Choa Chu Kang. watched th TT boys mabok, and den homed with Feeqa via train. tiring day indeed! some photos below.

18 December, Sunday.

had match vs Singapore Minchong! well.. it was really close. we could have won, just by 4 points.. damn. :( hais. i played terribly. milo cup sure is hard. :/ after that, headed home!! wait.. th Aljunied cat that i always see was always there. so cute! :3 everytime i meow, it comes to me. guess it knows tht i love cats! <3 hahaa. went home bathing in th rain... lol.

19 December, Monday.

had a match vs SCGS!! it was th most crucial match ever, bfre we Team Sengkang get our gold trophy!! ohmygod, everybody played hard, and yes. VICTORY OURS! we won by just 1 point. waaa heng. LOL! bt im happy to th max tht we team sengkang, girls team managed to get a CHAMPION after 3 years!! HURRAY! great job girls! (Y) haha. headed homed after that, bathed and off to sleep till morning. i swear... i didnt even bother to touch my phone. o.o

20 December, Tuesday.

today, had a match vs Bukit Merah. and yes, we won. :) hahaa! after that took a bath at CCAB, thought wanna go to Yishun for Kude training. ended up cancelled. so headed back to sk, went to 236 awhile. and met up with sister and off to 185 for Gamelan practice. okay!! i passed lagu Sundah!! omg happy to th max! :> and den homed. currently am just now surfing th net. shall rest early tonite to prepare for tmw's game vs Dunman Sec fr Milo Cup. its been really tiring i swear.. bruises here and there, legs, arms, eyes. just hafta bear th pain i guess. ahaha. shall stop here! :D

have you ever had th feeling of missing someone so badly that you can just cry? and hoping to see them outside and jst run to them, and let them carry you in your arms? you wished that would happen. you wont care how many tears have fallen and flowed through your cheeks every sec. but you know, that would never happen. somehow, you feel like at a point of time, you feel helpless. by just staring at th one you love, drifting away from you. you'd die just to get them back. but no, life doesnt allows that to ever take place the way you wanted it to be. life is always unfair. only certain people, those who are lucky, always get th Happy Ending Stories just like in fairytales. you wished th one you love, would come back to you. but they decided not to. you dream of them in your sleep, hoping that it would happen in reality. but its th opposite. you sit alone, and memories start flashing in your mind, th happy times you and your loved one would have had together till now if you two lasted. when you look back, tears start falling. looking at how reckless mistakes you've done and hoping to change them and start again a new. you feel guilty, cause you've just missed one big chance in life, where it might just change th future. sometimes when you look at your loved one, you think to yourself. am i even good enough? or was i just a nuisance? you want him back. but you cant. because of them, your afraid to move on. but somehow life teaches you to go on. in your heart, there leaves a big hole and a scar. hoping someday it might be healed. the one that hurts you, is th one who could heal you. or perhaps, no. someone else might. believe in yourself you can do it, and stay strong. how can you love, when youre afraid to fall? a penny for your thoughts.

i'd die to get your love back.

why?

2011-12-16T10:32:00.000-08:00

watch th night turns into day.

good eveninggg readers! ^^v im taking a big risk in sleeping late. sacrificing my time just to update my blog you see.. and well, since readers are asking me to update, may as well i update! and i shall make it fast! cant blog long essays today. :(( haha. sorry readers, just feel like blogging th way i used to for today only. hee, gt important stuffs to update like th way i used to... next time kk!! well, its been a tough week for me. since november, had trainings for milo cup and skss everyday without fail [ im sure you readers alrdy knew it LOL ] , and yeah. currently am undergoing a series of matches for both Geylang Serai and Milo Cup. we eventually made it to 2nd round for Milo Cup. thank God. :) well.. at 2nd round its kinda tough tho. vs Team Bee and we lost. :( we could have won ya kno. hais. and today, vs Nanyang Girls High. har har i have nth to say. was kinda shocked tht i had to play for 2nd Quarters and 3rd and some of 4th. hmmm, usually i would not be playing much. but hell, its tiring! cs bfre that, had a match for Geylang Serai with Naval Base. so far so good. we won Bedok Green, Naval Base. for tmw, were playing with Mayflower. sad that i cant play.. hafta help Remus's sister in becoming a Fashion Model. :) a model for th day! haha shasha shasha..

i should say im really tired and im being pushed to my limits soon enuf. been having injuries lately, especially my lips and my eye today blue black -_- hahah! i think im too used to playing aggressive. O: what to do. and my right knee is giving in to me. looks like im gnna have knee injury soon again. zzz. nooo :( and hmmm, sunday will be having milo cup again vs Singapore Minchong. -.-" Mon Geylang Serai Skss vs SCGS, Tue Geylang Serai Skss Vs Bukit Merah, Wed Milo Cup SMT vs Dunearn Sec or was it Dunman Sec? i dont know.. hahas. look at how hectic my life is. :( im getting bored with my life. but i know, i just cant give up now right?! i wont give up. i will push myself to my limits, only until th day i will fall and surrender (Y) and maybe just improve somemore on my lay up driving in. hmmmm, disadvantage to be short. where people can just slam down on you. -.- ok i realise my whole post is about basketball. I CAN SEE THT. :< bt well, guess my holidays is just = BASKETBALL! my mum even agreed. and im gonna be crippled soon o.o guess this is my life and destiny. DONT EVER GIVE UP READERS!!!! shall turn in now, long day again tmw.. goodnite xx

i miss you...

i've loved you for a thousand years.

2011-12-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

you were there in my dreams, why werent you thre in real life? :(

hella readers, evening. xx its 12.22am and im here blogging. well, kinda upset. but shall post abt wht happened today at th end okay? and of course... i am forever neglecting my blog -.-' its either im busy with trainings or matches. how sad can life be... its 11 Dec, i still dont have my holiday huh? :( i bet im gnna be a dead veggy by end of dec! guess its fated for me, cant run from reality. haaha. okay... so milo cup's matches have been pretty well victorious :) we won Yishun Town, and today we won T-Net! its a tough game today, cs we won by 1 point. its all thanks to Rikki's 2 shots freethrow! omg!!! :D but oh... i broke down halfway tho. shall post abt tht later. :) yesterday, went to 185. slacked at abg's place, and den at nite went to Wijaya's erm, idk wht is it called. haha den homed. and i slept at 4am x.x i dreamnt about a ghost pulling my leg, and i even cried to sleep! -.- lol. and today, after match, went home and off to 185 again. today, wijaya had kuaran. much misses! xx so many familiar faces, bt wsnt in th mood to say hi hello hey all these. too sad... :( hahaa. after show, said byebye. den Abg Yot wants a kiss on his cheek so i gave. den he kissed me bck on my cheek so tiut :D den Abg Boi, Abg Adek, Abg Kechik all pun semua sebok nk!! but nehmind, im happy tht were all just like a family<3 hahaah. and then homed. nw currently texting with Abg Kechik. i think i shall just text him until i fall asleep. hahaa... so here we go~

well.. lemme share abit about my life story yeah? in my life, there's always so many challenges i have to face. for now, let me just share about my Sports Life? BASKETBALL! well, at first i didnt like to play basketball. at primary 3, i was a tracker until pri 6. bt in pri 6, i was being pulled to join basketball. tht's when my stamina increased and my sprinting decreased since i started to skip track trainings, and was forced to go for basketball trainings. i knew basketball was CRAP. only until i was in th National Team den i started to like Basketball slowly.. in sec life, i continued to live tht dream. you know, i know how my standard of playing basketball is in matches. i used to be th one who snatches, intercepts, dribbles, layups and shoots. i know how to put my mind in th game for th past 3 years. and i've never made anyone feel angry. but today somehow..... i feel i was a total loser. after joining Milo Cup, for th past 5 matches, i couldnt seem to even play well. i couldnt even shoot any single ball in. and yes, i was being scolded by our coach. th word he said, " lousy ". you know, at tht point of time, i felt demoralised by wht he said. cs it was true. thre was a time we had a match for SKSS with Woodgrove, i could shoot and play my best. th next day, playing for SMT, i couldnt play as well as i was supposed to. yes, i broke down during th game. cs i knew i was hopeless. even after th game, i couldnt stop crying. do you know how it feels like, for 5 straight matches you cant score. and you make coach angry and lose at least 6 points. yes, ME. hais :( i dont even know wht im feeling.. after today, i know how badly i have played. i just cant seem to focus. after getting th ball, i anyhow layup. maybe i was just too pressured, and always think tht im th lousiest in th team. maybe i am. :( i should just sit and watch them play. im such a loser. doubt i would be able to play best in th future. hais. im sorry. :'( i still cant get over it.

IMMA LOSER.

why must you do this to me?

2011-12-07T04:04:00.000-08:00

you made a really big mistake.

so hey readers! im back :) its a wed today. and i've neglected my blog these days, js one reason. i feel tired. of course, i've been having trainings everyday in th morning. where i have to wake up at 8am every single morning :C how i wish i could just sleep my days away. yawns! :x gt i guess this is for my own good? to stay in shape and fit :3 eventho im pushing myself to my limits. i know im gonna get injured soon enough. x.x my right leg just recovered, and now i fell on my left knee. which my left knee is supposed to be my master leg. gnna hve to recover soon! train hard, play safe. one quote tht's always in my mind. :) keep tht too in your mind readers! :P hehe. and oh, yesterday had our first Milo Cup match. vs X-Sports. i shuld say it was kinda tiring eventho i only played half of 1st Quarters. ahhh, their speed is so fast. at first, we were losing. but in th end... everyone changed their mentality and we chased bck. 46-40 :) gratz! we just hafta win for tmw's match, vs yishun town and were in! T-net @ Bukit Merah players are so tall. i feel deceived. lol. and oh.. idk why but whenever i play a match for Milo Cup, i always look down on myself. i cant seem to shoot. and i cant make anyone happy. sometimes, our coach is so fierce. and i feel scared. :/ well, just hafta play th game. :c hmmm, so. tmw having match, and friday having match again with Woodgrove Sec. followed by Sunday, another match again vs T-net. my holidays is gonna end soon.. hais. :( hmmm, guess tht's my fate. :C lols.. and someone broke my heart again. :/ tmw is th 8th. IAN SOMERHALDER!! DAMON SALVATORE HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3 okay.. wanna hear a story?

Him. You guys randomly start talking one day. He compliments you and tells you youre pretty and cute. He asks you about your past relationships and you ask him about his. When you tell him youve been hurt multiple times, he tells you that those guys are all jerks and stupid for letting a girl like you go. You then share tell him somemore stories about your past and he tells you his. He starts flirting with you and you start flirting back. Then he asks for your number and you give it to him right away. The next day he texts you and tells you good morning and tells you to have a good day. Soon talking to him becomes a part of your daily routine and you wait for him to text everyday to text you. Whenever you receive something from him, you start smiling and your day instantly becomes better. He texts you daily asking how your day went. You talk to him all night and he always asks if youre tired and if you want to go to bed. The night conversations youve with him are always the best and the deepest. You sleep when he sleeps, and he sleeps when you sleeps. Now he wants to meet up and hang out with you when you meet up with him, you feel even more chemistry with him and you feel butterflies in your stomach every time you talk to him everytime you talk to him. Now you tell your friend about what an amazing guy he is and youre interested in him. Soon he confessed that he is interested in you and you tell him that the feeling is mutual. You go on more dates with him and he starts giving you nicknames and calling you baby. You feel like youre the happiest girl alive and the feeling is so strong between you guys. One day, he suddenly stops texting you first. When you guys talk now, its only b'cos you hit him up first. Things changed and to dont understand what unexpectedly happened. He stops putting effort talking to you and doesnt show that he still wants to be with you. You become extremely clingy and you dont want another girl in the picture. You cant help wondering what went wrong. You ask him if anything is wrong and he tells you everything is fine. Then you start thinking hes mad at you for something you did, but he assures you that you need to to relax and everythings okay. He tells you that hes just been busy. So you wait for awhile and nothing is changing. Hes still "busy" all the time and he doesnt even try to talk to you. Now everytime you talk to him it becomes an argument. And you get scared that youre being annoying by hitting him up first, so you stop talking to him. Months pass, and you dont talk to him at all. You never know what happened. B'cos of him, everyday and night youre hurt and upset. You dont know what went wrong in the relationship between the both of you. Your friends tell you to forget him and that he doesnt deserve someone like you. But you cant seem to listen to them, youre already too attached to him. You miss the old person he used to be and you dont even know what he has changed into. And one day you see that he has a new girl in his life. Hes calling her cute names and telling her everything he use to tell you. He calls her baby an tell her he thinks shes gorgeous. He tells her everything youve heard before. He seems completely fine without you and now he has someone else to talk to and text everyday and night. You refuse to believe that he played you, but its true. Youre still hurt and he has already moved on. Youre still sad and everything you do reminds you of him. You cant stop thinking about him and you cry every night thinking about him. You still secretly hope that one day he will start talking to you again and you guys will pick up where you last left off but you also know that it will never ever happen. You compare every guy you now meet with him. Hes already forgotten about you but youre still having a hard time letting go. Sound familiar?" We girls are just so silly, we love someone who don't deserve us and not love someone who deserves us.

return.

i cn do this.

2011-12-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

sometimes i regretted.

evening readers, well. its 1am in th murning and i've js finished crying and chatting with Iyrah Lee. <3 how sweet, i saw her post my name in her blog. she wants me to blog, so i guess ill blog? but first.. just a brief update on wht i did today. went out with Adly<3, to Town. nt much.. but hey truthfully he looks exactly like Rohaizat. hmmm, and he's a nice guy anyway. so friendly. at town it was raining, and he kept laughing at th way people kept banging into me, and looking into my stressed face. 10 people! -.-" haha. funny.. went to catch a movie, some horror show which ended up me screaming in th cinema. lols. den headed to Heren, which we failed to do so. instead, went to Cathay. wanted a movie marathon, but nah. too late alr. den headed to Scape. Scape was boring, since it ws raining. met up Khairi otw. and den off me and Adly went to City Hall. he wanted to buy some stuffs, so accompanied him. and den had dinner and homed. since he had training tmw for Hockey, may as well let him rest early. :) and well, i too headed home. good day today i supposed. since his face js too similar.. memories js start flashing back again.. hais.

so here i am, bck to square one. well, have you ever had th feeling of when you meet someone in life, who just have th same features, appearance, and little bit of details implied on them? and then, you start thinking. is this even fate tht brought you two to meet, eventho they are not of wht you have dreamnt of. someone from th past, who was just being brought up to th future, but just nt their presence. but is present, in someone else. right then, your brain starts to play some illusions in your eyes, where you know they might be of th same person whom you met last time. bt we know, we cant judge a book by its cover without knowing their contents. who knows, they might suprise you in turning to someone whom might just bewilder you by surprise? always expect th unexpected. but somehow, we hafta think. dont because by someone who looks exactly like your past lovers, th ones you cant let go, and now. you meet someone exactly like them. dont, ever let this hinder you down. once you switch off your hopes, you would be weak. just like how i am now, few minutes ago, i was ranting at twitter about how weak i am. but no, after second thoughts, i know deep down. i can manage and overcome things right. cause if, once bitten twice shy. no one's life is perfect. neither do i. everyone has challenges. be it love, family, peer pressure. but readers, rmb to always think positive. if you cant let go, try to think of how much th person whom left you, actually made you feel stronger, now. amidst th times when you feel sad, and thinking of those painful memories, you js dont realise how much time has passed and you've managed to overcome the fact tht youre becoming stronger. you might nt realise. dont look down on yourself that youre th girl who was being ditched, and thrown away and feels useless. we girls know how to fake a smile, but trustworthy guys know very well hw a smile looks frm th inside. just like a newborn baby, who has yet to grow. learn how to manage your feelings well, and im sure everything will be fine. take it as a dead flower, which bears seeds. dispersal of seeds. these seeds are planted, and then grown again into a new flower. thts just how life goes. if you fall down, pick yourself up. and no matter wht, we have to move on. to those readers who feels sad, im here with all of you. im always on your side. believe in God, and believe in yourself. dont let sadness take over you, be strong. just like wht im doing right now. xoxo

say my name.

2011-12-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

i knw i can do this.

hella readers! <3 im bck from malaysia! :P well, first took a bus there. combined with Christ Church boys and girls. :) th journey was kinda near. so, we girls had our match first. haha th Malaysia team so cute. short short but are fast. but well, we won yay! 111-17. first time. LOL out of all th points, i only scored 2 -.-" cant be forced, my thigh injury really gave in to me. cant even jump to shoot. hais. den th boys match, our boys win. but hwever, thre was a fight tht happened. kinda scary, but hey. SKSS learns SPORTSMANSHIP K! (Y) hehee. ended up with a great fight. and den bck home to Sg. :) kinda late and walked home. th next day, had training. o.o totally drained out!

and today, woke up in th morning. and had breakfast with mum at LJS. oh how naise mum ;) she said i was getting skinnier O: but well.. i dont see any diff in me. and den bused to sch, for training. it was raining, and we cant do much. except RUN RUN. haha. and den homed, and off again to Malaysia. this time took car. reached idk wht High Sch? and we played against 17-20 year olds. at first tot, thought tht we might lose. since our rivals were tal. but hey, nvr deceive heights okay! and yea... we won. 53-33. well sumtimes i feel like a burden to th team. :( i just dont dare to shoot. hais. hafta build up my confidence again! i hope so.. and our Milo Cup matches are starting on Tues. i hope well win! (Y) well try our best.. so readers? hows everyone feelings nowdays? happy/sad? haha. 2011 is coming to an end. eventho i might hate 2011, cause i know i've been alone thruout this year, and suffering heartbreak. but well i guess, 2011 js teaches me how to stay strong. always look forward in life okay? dont ever look back at your past, cause it hurts. and always be patient to wait for th right one to come okay! nw its 1.12am in th murning, im tired already. apologies, i blogged short today. tmw gg Lido and maybe Scape. :) i think i shall turn in now! goodnite readers! <3 xoxo

nothing will ever come between us.

2011-11-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

why must you go.

hellu afternoon readers. im js gnna make this post short, simple, sweet. <3 its a really humid day today, cause im sweating while drinking my Failed-Horlicks. haha! well.... im awoke early, cs hafta meet th rest of th bballers at 12 30pm at CC. were gg off to Malaysia for a match to train ourselves. kinda nervous, should i say? :/ come on malaysia players!!!!! im sure they are tall. hahaha, lol. and yes im kinda tired and sleepy, since i was watching In Time ytd till 2.30am ._. and oh, ytd went out to meet Helmi Lavigne (Mr Vampy) if you guys cant remember.. hahaa! and also Hafizh and his cousin. took th mrt, and went to Kovan. tht mushroom head helmi, didnt hop on mrt. how stupid -.- and i had to stop at serangoon to hop on his! lol. went to Shaw Lido and watched Breaking Dawn. :) sometimes when i watch Twilight, i can even cry looking at Jacob who didnt have his dream come true. :( but yet, how wonderful it would be to have a bestfriend like him... den walked to Cathay and had dinner. silly, i said i wanted Hershey Sunday Pie, Helmi bought two Pies? from Burger King. BENGAP (Y) hahah. lol. and oh, had lunch at home bfre tht. ate maggi, and i threw up again. hais. i've nt been eating these 3 days cs im scared i would throw up again. well, js gonna takecare of myself frm nw on. :P alright, im gnna start packing now. and den im off to Malaysia! takecare readers xoxo

dont give up.

2011-11-28T08:40:00.000-08:00

momma im in love with a criminal.

evening meowwwwwzxc. :) its 12.23am now. and im still up. had training in th morning at 10 30am at sch for SKSS Training. it was kinda slacking anyways. cause nt much people came, and i cant be bothered to run arnd th court. since i was so tired...... haha! had lunch outside sch, and had training for Milo Cup at 2.30pm. 50 rounds again :/ at least this time i didnt feel much tired as th first training. guess, hafta work on my physical fitness! after tht headed to cp with Zoey and off to her house to do my hair. like no diff onli hais... den headed home had my dinner. and bam. 15 mins later, ran to th toilet and threw up everything AGAIN. it happened th nite bfre, which was ytd. and it happened again today. hais, i dont really know whts happening to me. even my appetite nwdays is getting smaller. sometimes i feel as tho my stomach's empty and thre's no feeling of me being hungry at all. people told me to consult a doctor, but i find it a waste of time. cs it doesnt occur at accurate timings o: harrrhhh, readers. any ideas tht cn help me? goshhhh. think im gonna fall sick again. hmmmmm. moving on, wed will be goin to JB to play a friendly match with Team SMT. having training again tmw morning. easy to say, im having training everyday non-stop. sometimes i feel like giving up. but i cant. i dont want to bring th whole team down. and i dont ever want to see tht happen. will try my best, and not let anyone in th team to feel a burden themselve. and i mean wht i say.

in life, you know there's a long road ahead of you. dont ever stop halfway when youre reaching th goal. dont even think of letting go of things easily, when you know people are behind you. dont lose their trust. sometimes i feel sad when any of us feels down, and always think negatives. ya know i would always be thre fr ya okay? hey yoey, dont be down. you said your a burden. no youre not. js dont give up in life okay? you might not see this, but hey i trust you okay. work hard! and turn bck to Yoey tht i used to know! :) i trust in our team, eventho i might nt be a good player, we train together. train hard, play harder. goodnite xx

bad day.

2011-11-27T03:47:00.000-08:00

one day when th sky is falling, ill be standing right next to you.

good evening readers. :) currently... my stomach is in excruciating pain again -_- just came bck from Pizza Hut at Cp for Breakfast + Lunch + Dinner = Brunner. its been so long i had my heavy meal. but now, when i eat, it ended up with me goin to th toilet to vomit out every single thing. hais. sometimes i just dont understand myself. i know when i was younger, i used to have Stomach Flu ALWAYS. y'kno? its like your stomach will be in pain, and you will be stucked in your bed rolling here and there, js to get a nice position to rest th whole nite. BUT NO. LOL. you will keep running to th toilet every now and then and throw up everything only until th last part.. where you will throw up acid. and den your throat burns LOL. which throat doesnt burns, when acid is flowing through your oesophagus? -_- hahah stop talking bout this manzxc!

shall move on.. oh anyways, ytd's show was awesome (Y) it was my first time anyway, played th Gamelan almost th whole day tht my fingers were almost torned :/ but anyways, what an amazing but tired day. went home with feeqa, and i literally fainted on th bed. haha! and i woke up having another nightmare -.-" NOT AGAIN! hais. nvm.. for now, am just listening to songs and dillydallying. gonna drink my soya bean to calm my stomach. so wht am i supposed to eat? everyday eat apple LOL. everyday i drink milo ya know. GOOD (Y) hehe. tmw is mon, means.. i have training. not only one training, TWO. one in th morning at 10.30am for skss, and afternoon for Milo Cup at 2.30pm. i guess i shall be lying on my bed again tmw?? i just want everything to be over.. cause i know, most of us can even cry while training. oh well. i think that's all for today. anyways, i changed my blogskin!! haaha, like same only. :P alrite, guess shall be reading my book and den im off to bed. oh thanks dad! he transfered $80 from my Original Bank Acc to my 2nd Acc. i like it, $111 in my 2nd acc. gonna save up tht 2nd acc, so i cn bring my parents out. haha like real only! okay, that's it. any questions? leave them in formspring. goodnite readers xoxo

im just here, waiting.

diamdiam sudah.

2011-11-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

there will be no sunlight if i lose you baby.

so hiiii readers semua semua all :P i promised i would update, so here i am updating. harhar! i gt update k? was busy for th past few days. as usual, trainings everyday. well. sadly to say, we lost our Tnet League. how sad? tht's because most of our players were overseas. and we didnt have enough players. hais... we could have won. we won Anderson and Kentridge. but we lost to Kranji and Newtown. for Newtown, we almost won. but ended up only 7 players turned up. i was kinda disappointed tho, but yet... wht happened TEAMSENGKANG! its okay. this is just Tnet. nt north-zones yet huh. :/ fr now, im left with Milo Cup and Geylang Serai. you know wht. today was or first training for Milo Cup with Christ Church. gahhhh, i just dont like tht coach :( training was hell. i can even cry while training ahh. first he made us run 100 rounds, ended up 50. and had to do some pushups in th air tht was th worst. did 25 3-pointers ongoing. haisssss.

hmmmm, well anyways. recently two days ago, during training. Edy broke his shin :( OUCH. his leg.... it happened right in front of my eyes. :( all th girls cried non stop. damn, do you know how it feels? arggh, his leg was twisted T.T he was den rushed to th hospital. at tht point of time, i realised i was scared ._. scared to play basketball and everything. i just couldnt sleep th whole nite, where i cried till morning. get well soon edy! hahaha. and i watch breaking dawn and puss in boots arld!!! whooohoooo and been stucked with song it will rain by bruno mars. :) hehehe. guess my holidays will just fly :( back to back trainings. and im currently down with injuries. damn. hais. oh, currently im just tweeting. there's a war between twitter -.-" i just get pissed off man, ARGH. tht person told me to just hang myself? funny. ok im nt in da mood to blog now. hais sry. :( anyways, goin for Telung show tmw. i hope i dont screw up while playing th gamelan. :> nitex!

wikiwiki.

2011-11-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

i dont need love.

hellu good evening lovely readers. :) its 20.11.2011! i find nth special though. haha. its just a date, a random date tht looks naise, but its still a Sunday to me! thought tht i wanted to R&R, well it turned out tht i cant -.-" from monday onwards, there's continous training everyday. :( under th hot sun, and i hate tht especially yea know? but... its worth it if we train everyday. i dont wanna complain, cs i terribly wanna win every match, and get pink sheets o: and i will never call defeat! haha forever shasha.. heh! so speaking of 20.11.2011, its my big bro's engagement day today! taiko besar nk tunang

so tht's some of th pictures taken with lil sister so irritating! hahaa. took all th iring stuffs, and car-ed to woodlands to sis-in-law's place. harh harh, okay la nt bad. den back home. rain rain rain, wht a really wonderful weather to sleep. bt oh well, thse 3 idiotic girls are in my room so i cant. instead, tweet tweet!! :P oh wait, there was a open house ytd at skss. which i find it kinda crap, cs there's nt much people coming. except... SKSS STUDENTS! haha! walauweii. waste time, but nvm had fun playing alot of sports. i didnt know i was so hyper on tht day. played soccer, floorball, hockey, netball, floorball etc. hehe! it feels great to be playing all kind of sports ^^ hehe!!! okay wait.. and th day bfre had Skss Graduation Nite. was on for duty until nite. was kinda tired, but it paid off th price. i didnt know tht skss could turn into a clubbing place. i swear o.o for th last hour, me and halim turned off th hall lights, and th dj started playing songs! LOL and th whole hall, everyone was dancing their asses off. what a nite to rmb. :) haha! i hope next yr, our batch would be much more better.

wht else cn i say? hehe! tmw, will be having our second match vs Kentridge. heard from coach tht they are using Netballers. weird.. there's disadvantages and advantages ok!! they are fast, and good in interception. they can even jump high and their speed is like -.-" well time to shinezxcz, we bballers have advantages in body contact. hehe, since they dont play body contact in netball whohooo (Y) and also a 3 second rule. well... 6 of our players are not coming :( no 3 pointers already leh even our captain! hais. all flying to Perth, China, Cambodia. how sad, but takecare frends! hope you guys enjoy you trip there. and return safely! hahaaa!

after goin fr match, im off to Aloha Changi for class chalet. its my first time my parents allowing me to stay overnight. its kinda weird O_O thanks mumma<3 prolly gonna ton thre, or pay a visit to OCH. haha like tht also can lol. and will be having match on wed and thur. see how busy i am :( i've been goin to sch for th straight 20 days without a break. and november is gonna pass really soon.. hais. forget it, gonna enjoy it now. if nt when? okay shasha okay.. and oh yea, been helping people settle their problems nowadays. and im glad tht i managed to at least help solve them. tht's all i think, im tired. gonna turn it now. do leave any ques if you have any doubts. goodnite readers, may God bless all of you xoxo

let me take you by th hand,

miracle.

2011-11-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

i love you like a love song baby.

hey readers! im feeling happy, glitterxz glitz glitz!! haha, well i finally feel happy now. im sure no one wanna read my boring sad posts right? so here i am, feeling happy and able to blog with at least some happiness? hows life everyone? ah-uh mine is moving slowly and steadily i suppose? and yep, my life's been hectic as always tht i've always been neglecting my blog :< haha! of course.... 14 november has passed, and im always hoping for a brand new day to come. i've had enough of love alrdy -.-" so i dont really bother. fr nw, i wanna enjoy and live my life to th fullest! dance till i drop and just feel happy! so readers, if youre th same age as me, were still too young to fall in love. dont get hurt, and risk your feelings! you'll regret ladies/hunks. :) so i guess right now, im back to business as usual. everyday, i have training at 9-30am. how tiring can it be? were under th hot sun :< tot tht i could sleep my days off... bt nw i cant. im having 3 tournaments upcoming, Tnet League, Milo Cup and also Geylang Serai. looks like my whole holidays will be filled with trainings. js screw my holidays. :C

its my last year in skss anyways bfre i leave. so may as well i use up all these time to cherish it, and also getting back in shape. haha! so today had training. and den i rotted at home. in th end decided to go for Dance at cp. thank God Kak Deela was thre :P so choreographed th song im glad you came ~ SUCCESS! for th first time! thts why im feeling happy. but... i still have to improve on my lower body movements uh. my upper body is okay, js need improvements. :( and will improve! haha alrite, my whole body is aching now. tmw i still have training T.T damnzczcxc. shall go collect my jacket tmw :) oh i js realised ive been blogging shorter? do give me any suggestions to blog about yea? leave them in formspring! or if there is a need to help, ill help alrite! ok goodnite readers. xx

hi im Anna from Vampire Diaries

heartbeat.

2011-11-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

14 November, 2011.

its been two years. i never knew myself, tht i was a girl who was strong enough to hold bck those tears all thse while moving on with life. i was once a weak girl, who always cries often and always thought tht i couldnt make it anymore in life. where it comes to a point where i want to give up. time flies so fast, and i was hoping for this day to come. 2 years of being single. so many things have happened. alot of guys i have met, bt js none have caught my eye. they either break my heart, trust, or even left me. th just shows, how big a scar you left me. and also, how wise i have become to choose th right guy properly. its good to be such a strong girl, which i am happy about it. eventhough sometimes outside, when we see each other, we dont smile nor talk. which hurts me more. but i know, its okay. whts past is past. i just have to look into th future right? you know you promised me tht you will always be with me, i hope you do keep tht promise, eventhough you dont care. how i wish you changed, and realise too. wht has happened to you in these two years. i dont wanna talk about it anymore. im still keeping it strong yep. xx

dont forget me. i beg.

2011-11-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

someone like you,

i want to talk to you, i wanna help you, i want you to know how much i cared for you. bt i js dont know how to. bt do you even wanna hear wht i say? cause i hope, you would realise all these time i watch you take every step in life. but somehow, you took th wrong step. at that point of time, dont you know i was worried? when i see you, i cried and yet i smiled. js to show you and pretend tht i didnt care about you. you might nt care about me, but i do. love doesnt rusts easily. sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead. how i wish you hadnt forgotten about me, like how i kept you in my heart. if only i could just tell you now, its nt over yet. and make you rewind of those past mistakes we did. but i guess, there's nt much hope. how are you doing there? i hope youre fine. im fine too. do give me an answer on why youre still in my dreams? oh God, pls guide me to th right path. i hope a miracle happens. xx

regrets && mistakes, memories. bitter-sweet

8.11.11

2011-11-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

trust is a big word,

so hey readers. im back to update my blog again? :) its 8th of Nov. lets say a big hello to it ;') if you know wht i mean.. and a few more days, its gonna be special day for me. well talk bout it at a later post k? gonna blog bout ytd!

sooo... ytd i was rotting at home ._. mum went over too Woodlands, dad's working, everyone in th house was working -.-" i couldnt stand being alone js using my laptop. tweeted here and there, and den Wanting chatted with me thru fb! my wantanchillizxc :P we've been classmates since sec 1 okey! ^^ wonderful fren. it was so random... and den we decided to meet since were both rotting at home. haha! went to Nexx :) had lunch at Pastamania, and whoopwhoop. snapped pics like no one's business at th rooftop. silly woman :P well, we both share th same interest in photography am i right Wantan? :P hehee! been snapping pics wit her for th past 2 yrs. and enjoyed ourselves now bfre O Levels :< den had Sogurt yummmm nom nom LOL >> IRRITATING NOM NOM! wonder why people use tht O.O den bought my dancing pants, or idk wht you call it. and we bumped into Scott -.-" and homed at 8pm. :) oh tht's only half of th pictures, more are at fb. i enjoyed today!! <3 and nw i dont feel like goin to sch tmw LOL. mayb ill go late. will blog tmw or soon kk? :P may God bless all of you. enjoi th pics<3

" sometimes, i dont understand you. why must you change? you were so much different last time, and now. i know, your growing. so am i. where's all your senses? dont you know your hurting everyone's feelings around you? dont you? youre a man, and you should know better of how to keep promises and to fulfill them instead of breakin them. im really disappointed in you. :( now look, what has happened to you? its a total reflect on your pass behaviour. if you hadnt made tht choice, we could have gone far. nt even letting me drop any tear till now. why. i dont love you, i miss you. rmb tht, i still care for you eventho you dont care for me at all. as far as i want, i want to help you. but i cant. "

8th November 2011.

where were you whn i needed you?

love.

2011-11-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes, it sucks to be alone.

so.... my love life till now has been silenced. 8 more days and im gonna be 2 years single. of course, im sure everyone would be shocked. but yeah, all those guy bestfriends tht turned out to be a failure with me, are enjoying their lives now. :< and me.... im still here. but nvm, i know imma strong girl to face all thse right shasha? hais. first true love is always th hardest to forget, which human doesnt agrees to tht? :( i will js wait for my time to come, and i know it will come soon. :( patience is a virtue. bt till when? i've been having dreams of you lately, 3 days in a row. idk whts th meaning of this. if only i could get what i wish for in life, to happen.... my life wouldnt have turned out this way. a sadful regreful life. o: i enjoy being single, but i do feel sad sometimes when i see happy couples out there. but, at th same time im happy for them ya know? i've always wanted my couple friends to be happy, and helping outsiders who need help. i guess, for now im just left with dancing, guitar, basketball, piano. no love... bt js bitter-sweet memories. :')

08.

o:

2011-11-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

affections touching across time.

hey readers, its been so long eversince ive last blogged. i've been kinda busy nowdays, with sch and also dance. who's nt tired? and th moment i reach home, i would be lying on my bed #likeaboss. hahaa :> wht type of vampire is this? okay... so ill start from today, (which is ytd since its pass 12midnite) and den ill go backwards if possible?

5 November - Saturday.

finally my mum allowed me to join for Dance Classes outside, been wanting to join since last time. only know, miracles happen tht she wants me to join. thankyou mum, iloveyou. <3 so.. went to Lavender to go for th Soul Dance Workshop. unfortunately Jasmine was unable to come and i had to go alone :/ kinda awkward for me, cs im goin alone and i was ALONE ALONE ALONE. get it, A.L.O.N.E. lol, nvm tht. i dont even know th rest of th dancers, and i was really shy my god. met terence's fren, and along with th rest of th dancers and off to th dance studio. kinda hard choreography..... almost died of it. and my grup hancur forever, when it comes to stepping. haha! its a great experience tho. :) solid 3hrs of dancing = productive. oh yea, made some new friends too. ^^ wonder if tmw im able to come or not. :< at nite, watched twilight again for th 20th time! HAHAHAH i cn even memories th lines -.-

4 November - Friday

MBS FTW!!!! :P in th morning, for th first time i was early for lessons. well, lessons were screwed up HELLO. teacher's were not there, and i didnt attend some of th lessons esp MT -.-" and zul saw us, " baru skrg nk dtg skola? " me : standard. hahah !! after sch, went to MBS for some literacy programme. whch i find it >> nth better to do. we were supposed to do some tasks which we didnt, instead we took our sweet time to walk around MBS and buy TGW!!! homaigod you guys shuld srsly try it. but... its $2 per piece. heh?

1 November - 3 November - Tues to Fri

lessons as per normal from 7 45 - 1 15pm. totally screwed. everyday, i come to sch late! tkle harap.. i wonder how my future husband will be... harhar. and was kinda tired, cs we had matches and also trainings everyday from 3 30 - 6 30pm. and oh come on, i slept early and also didnt off my laptop when i fell asleep. maintain shasha! guess i hafta make use of my sleeping time to regain my energy that are being drained during th day :o sedih per girl, kene gy skola....

29 Oct - 31 Nov

CAMP!!!! how shag can camp be? but oh too bad, im part of th Exco and i have to organise camps. activities were fun. walked for sk to pasir ris and i got tanned you mean -.-" KAY LA. oh, had app day, th best day ever.

KAY LA I DONT WANT DILLY DALLY . i want do new post byebye

ok.

2011-10-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

ku menunggu.

have you ever felt th feeling of wanting to just stab someone in the heart with a stake? or even breaking your own heart, just because youre hurt and you want everything to end. what if you've helped someone you loved so much to change for th good, and when they're gone they just misuse your help and turn to bad side. this feeling sucks when th one you love, and cant forget does tht right infront of your eyes. th feeling of hate, love, miss, it all adds up together, CARE. have you ever wondered how much i cared for you? i changed you, yet now your bad th same again. dont you miss how good you were last time, seeing all smiles on your face, whenever i see you. bt now, where's all those happy smiles you have? its just.... gone. everything's gone. your attitude, your love towards other people change. feelings fade, but yet. have some sense, people out there are looking at you. you dont wanna spoil yourself ya know. i helped you maintain yourself, making your parents, friends happy. and now, just because you changed, i hate to see you suffering. your studies especially. you know its hard to get back in track, but please. do your best in it. dont make your parents sad and unhappy of you. and bcs if you, i feel guilty. cs i have failed them to takecare of you. tht's because were no longer together. doesnt mean your away, i dont care about you. i promised you once, and you always tell me tht you will always be with me. keep tht in your heart, i am always close by your side. however, it seems tht your humanity has shut down and you dont care anymore, you only care about yourself. whenever i see you, i cry. i miss th old you, th times when were so happy talking, laughing together. but everything's changed now. please, change. i dont wanna see us hanging just like this. only God knows how much i feel deep inside, i wanna help you. but i cant. i cant do anything since you treat me like im invisible. i smile, to cover up my tears. ironic, you dont even bother. whatever it is, my heart is still with you. xx

:')

2011-10-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

when i saw you, i knew i was going to cry. bt i didnt, yet when i left. i did.

WIJAYA KUSUMA! :P

so hello readers. im back to update, since some of you requested me to update right? apologies tht i was out th whole day ytd and i was kinda tired. tht i fell asleep right away after i reached. its a monday today, and i have time to blog. well start off with ytd alrite? enjoy th pictures xx

so... on sunday, Wijaya Kusuma had kuaran at Boon Lay. at first, wanted to meet Kechyk, well last minute plan tk jd. lol. lucky thing, bbyG on top ^^ accompanied me!! thankyou so much <3 all th best for our O's! met irah at outram and trained to Boon Lay. den went to give JetJet and Bella their birthday presents. its been so long eversince i've met th WijayaFamily. i kinda miss them tho xx of course, i miss Mama th most! :< okla all :) and pipit all bully sia cs i didnt grow tall. :( den headed to bukit batok to get our kitten from KakCik's frend's house. you know? its so cool to meet Kak Cik from th show Wujud. haha! ok... her house had like 12 cats? o.o there's one tht looks exactly like Garfield, so fat HAHAHAHA. and fluffy fur :3 and there are kittens too omg :D so they gave us one, yeah. its a Persian Mixed. hurrayhurray yay lolzcxz gt new kitten liao :P den headed back to Wijaya, watched and snapped pictures. and den ended and homed taking a cab. suprisingly, i cried inside th cab. hah.....

as you can see, th girl in th middle is 8th's younger sister. isnt she pretty? i kinda envy her pretty straight long hair! i regret cutting my hair thinner last time >< nw, my front hair is short, and my back hair is long tht it touches my ass! AHAHHAHA. well, she's really sweet. wanna thankyou for cheering me up these two days. she's a realli nice girl, trust me. she does understands how i feel. she's my listener too. how cute! so jaja, stay pretty and thanks fr your help ok? i app all your sweet words, im really touched. since your his lil sister, you make me feel as if youre just like my sister. :) i hope you have a great future handsome boyfriend okay? well meet soon, lupchu sugar xx thnks for being there fr me. <3

this is th kittty! isnt it cute?! :P hehe. okay. today woke up feeling really tired o: tht told my mum tht i didnt want to go to sch. HERHH, and she said, " NVR GO SCH NO SCH MONEY. " sedeh member..... so decided to js go to sch. had mt week, hah DRAMA AGAIN!!!! i onli like today's lesson cs it was fun. heheh! :P and tmw we have to perform i actually had enuf of doing drama on stage thru out 2011 ah -_- retardedd. lols! den had to cut paper, idk colour paper. 720 pieces. walaueweii. den had match vs Naval Base at sch. we won we we won 23-26. bt den, they insisted on playing another match so play la. gave them chance, end up 31-31. LOL bt i played terribly today.... ): forget it. headed to 185, took my nap and kitty was sleeping beside me. how cute. while Kimie, majok.. first time i see cat emo. LOL! okay, gonna watch VD now. am chatting with Jaja. <3 shall blog soon okay! xx gonna be a busy week, gym training tmw! FTW.

" when im sad, i smile. tht's because i dont want people to know how much you've hurt me. i missed you, and i dont tell people. well... when we love someone so much even after they're gone, we tend to wait for their return even if it takes 2 years. but somehow, th feeling hurts cs we know that they wont be coming back to us ever again. "

boring saturday.

2011-10-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

i can live without you.

hey readers! good news! ive been promoted! alhamdullilah, thanks God. :) at first i thot tht i would retain. had been having bad dreams tht im retaining tht i cant even wake myself up to go to sch x.x terrible. but on th results day, got 50/100 for my El overall ^^v bt nt to be slacking now.. i really need tp push my EL hardcore. or ill suffer for my Os :/ and i dont want tht to happen. same goes to my maths!! i failed my Amaths and Emaths. #foreverfailing hais. i will pass my Emaths!!! and im gonna drop amaths ._. i gt F9 for it. lulzxc. srsly no hope in taking amaths x.x haha!

well, i tink th teachers helped me to push up my marks o: and i dont want any of my classmates to retain, eventho there are.. my heart realli hurts seeing them retaining :( hais. just hafta work even harder next yr D: okay. so, moving on with life. had training ytd, thank god tht i have been running at least 9km per week, i had no trouble running for th warm up :) yay!! okay. haha and oh.. my time next week onwards is gonna be intensive. my training days will be on Mon , Wed. Gym training will be on Tues , Thur , Fri. man O: i wonder how am i gonna manage my time. :( and omg stella became smaller in size!! heartpain reallly.. she was too stressed tht she became thinner. o:

lets sidetrack!! this is Kimie <3 look at her. idk why but she has always been giving me this face lately -.- retarded . haha!! bt cute.. whenever i feel too stress, ill disturb her. she's so fluffy, tht's why i like fluffy animals ^^ hehe. oh we have another cat too. its called Oreo. okay he's wild, and loves to bite and scratch people. -.-" even i bleed whenever i get bitten by him ARGHHH. oh nt to forget hamsters too!! :) they have been reproducing lately VERY FAST!! HAHAHA. and they are small like fluffy balls. HAHHA BALLZ -.-" okay shasha.. they're tiny :P okay. bck to today! its a saturday, yet i have to wake up early. went to sch had Exco meeting fr Camp stuffs etc. and now, i've been given alot of tasks to complete :/ school hall mural painting graffiti, exco tee design well alot alot. i hope i manage my time well :) okay! nt to frget, am goin to put in effort to at least study O: hehee, alrite, till here. shall go watch Vampire Diaries. and tmw shall be goin for Wijaya Kusuma with Kechyk at Boon Lay. :) at oh!! ordered Baseball Jacket and a Superman Jacket. bro is paying! THANKYOU!!!!

ill be ignoring you.

.....

2011-10-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

ill be standing right next to you.

hi :> im back. hehe, i shuld say.. my results are terrible and horrendous :( i only passed my Bio, Mt, Art, Geog, SS. failed Emath, Amath, Chem. for EL, failed my paper 2 terribly while passed my Paper 1 and Oral. see, i was kinda honest when there was a miscalculation in marks, which i was supposed to get 6 marks, instead they gave me 9. had to change my marks, yet my marks was lower. i dont feel guilty, cs i know Integrity. :3 well, i failed my Chem F9, nt sure whther my Bio can pull me up to pass my Combined Sci. maths U GRADE! hais. im just really worried tht i might retain :'( and i dont even wanna retain.. at least im happi tht i passed my Emath Paper 1. im just left with th overall marks tmw, to know whther i retain or not. :(((((

chins up, its been 3 days i've been worrying too much. i hafta stay positive. okay.. so, looks up ** pictures taken tht time on 15 October, fr th Girls Outing and to Scape. ~ thankyou Samantha fr uploading! :) oh! yesterday, went for VampyCise with my brudder. 8-9km run from Sengkang to somehow, a long bridge leading to Pasir Ris? we wanted to run further, but it was too dark and its dangerous at night. and tht time was only a 5km run. needa push more!! hahaa!! its so fun running with my brudder. Collar Bones, Skinny Legs, V-Shaped Body, Abs = MOTIVATION!! since Kapo said im fat -.-" i know you have V-Shaped body la walau. D: i will get slimmer !!! argghhh. and today, went to Singapore Poly for some workshops. wah! it feels so fun going there, and also. enjoying my last laughters with my dearest 3E5 if i cant make it next yr... *STOP THINKING NEGATIVE!!* ;'( after that homed, and took a nap since i felt giddy and woke up at 10pm. am gonna watch some shows online, and download Vampire Diaries. I WILL ONLY START WATCHING VAMPIRE DIARIES ONLINE WHEN I'VE DOWNLOADED ALL! :P alrite, tmw shall go running again. and friday will be going for gym and Beep test!! -.-" for now, praying hard i get promoted.

i wont be looking at your eyes, this time round

29 more days.

2011-10-16T03:16:00.000-07:00

...

you knw you love someone so much, that somehow you know, they are the ones you cant let go in life. you spent all your time, sacrifice small matters and time just to be with them. every little mistake they do, you would forgive them or even take it as just a cute little clumsy stuff they do. and you giggle with one another, ending up hugging one another. sometimes, evey love has to put to an end. no matter how hard it is, you have to let go. we miss them, but we cant love them. eventhough we love them, we dont receive equal love from them. we wait, but how long can we hold on th pain? when we sleep, we dream of them. wanting them to be back. they say, dreams are th opp of th reality. when we dream of them being back, it just means they dont want us anymore in life dont they? ;') when we let go, they come back. we have to fight, to not get them back in our minds, staying in vivid clear pictures. when you're alone, you tend to think of them. dont you?

we are humans, and we have feelings and weaknesses. once were being shot, we go down to th core. and when we dont put effort, we wont be able to get back up. just one thing in life, we want something badly, but ending up. our hopes all come crashing down. everyone does tht, trust me. and when you recall to the past, you rmb all those promises you've made to each other. bt now, time changes. both have changed. and you realise, they have broken their promises. it hurts deeply, especially when looking ath them deciding to go against something you dont like. everythings over, so what's th point of asking them to stop? its their life. we just have to be ourself, and live alone from then on..

love me for once.

2011-10-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

you CHANGED. why?

hey readers! im back, after so long.. apologies fr th late update! finally, exams r over! *jumping arnd lika mad bitch* i've been studying too much, i tink my brains are gonna explode any sooner if i keep studying. actually, i didnt really study fr amaths! -_- tht's th hardest topic, and during paper 2, i only managed to do 2 questions. oh damn shasha, your awesome. im prepared to flung maths T.T and i have a high feeling of failing my combined sci :( hais. wht a life, #immaloser. lol.. okay so far exams was okay. ohhh! from mon to fri, went to KFC and studied till night. okay, there are some leftover pictures! >< and how are all of you doing?

since exams are over, i can do anything i want or even sleep during th day and awake during th night! hahaha i need more sleep :( yesterday friday, went to amk to make some payment. and den off to 185 to abg ian's crib. took my nap there and found Kimie biting my finger and sleeping beside me. how cute :P and then back home, and out to badminton and skate with classmates. haha! damn its fun skateboarding aftr so long time when my deck broke into two -_- walau like tht also can. haha! and today, its a saturday. went out to meet Yanie first Somerset, dn Khairi. went to Scape, met up with Sakinah. aww she's cute :) so, from there went to meet RiekaDollyBaby and off to FarEast Sakura. waited for th rest, and here they come~ Lydia, NoraAzura, Samantha, Shaqina and Gaby. pictures are with Samantha ~ shall upload soon? haha, those three ladies are so cute! had a wonderful time today. was homed bfre 10 30, js in time to catch Vampire Diaries. hallluuuu i wuld nvr miss to watch any epi of vampire diaries ohkay? cause DAMON IS IN IT !! HAHAHAA.. ok shasha ok.

hmmmm, shall go for Vampycise tmw at 6.30pm. its been 5 days -.-" nvm. for next week's plans, i have a hard time choosing. RiekaBby asked me to follow her fr Halloween at Sentosa, Palat's outing on Saturday, and on Sunday having Wijaya's Kuaran which mamashaizat personally invited me ;< hmmm, bt im gonna go alone!! who is going with me man T.T hais.. since th rest are busy with O's :< well see how it goes. okay, i dont realli know wht to post anymore. im kinda tired and sleepy, shall browse some shows and youtube and im off to sleep. oh just a few more days till 2 yrs of being without you by my side..

" i wonder why you changed. eversince i known you, first met you. you werent like this at all. you stop all your habits just because you loved me. and you even promised not to do anything more stupid than this, tht youre doing now. why are you breaking your promises? i might just be your friend, but it just hurts my hear to see you change. where's th old you? i miss you. "

hate to stare.

2011-10-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

trust needs to be earned.

good evening readers, i was supposed to update this post yesterday. but it seemed tht i was too tired to update. here are some pictures taken yesterday from Ad's iphone. :3 enjoy. xx

its a Saturday, meaning to say.. a study day. (Y) -.-" haha. i woke up late, was only awaken by my text messages tht i received. gheees, washed up and went to school for emaths. i always never regret goin for emaths lessons, cos i really wanna pass my maths. throughout th year of 2011, i've been failing my maths. how terrible can i be? hais. practice makes perfect. never give up! :) after that went home, and off to meet Dragon, Adriana, Shaq, Sam, Kenneth. decided to study at th airport instead since Cp was full. lol. wah, its been so long ever since i've last been to th aiport. hehe, i see aeroplane fly i happy!! haahah #tebiat. had lunch, my mc'cafe!! omg. den found a place to study. kinda productive, eventhough some are practically 'not productive'. because.. everyone ended up playing with sweets! -.- omg my frens.. i wonder wht are they doing. lol! homed at 10. ws in time to watch my Vampire Diaries!!! <3<3<3 damn, i dont ever wanna miss any vampire diaries episode. cs have... DAMON SALVATORE!! whoopwhoop. ok shasha ok :P he's so hansem, so does Stefan lei. hehe! well, after tht tot wanna study some geog, ended up i slept! and woke up th next morning late, well nvm.

so today, is sunday. and went to study at KFC with Alina. CARAMEL FRAPPUCINO VENTI! studied from 2pm-10.30pm. well, alina left ealier. while i studied until KFC close. another productive day alhamdullilah. :) im just left with a few more of coasts and two essays. nw its 11.47pm. wonder if i can make it O: im js worried i might just flung th paper. and emaths paper is on tues.. nervous-breakdown. hais. will try my best ;') and shall go home tmw after paper and off to KFC again to study maths and bio. oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR FAZIRA!! tmw will be HELL for me. for th whole week. and guess wht.. checked my fb msg. and MamaShaizat messaged me.. k goodnite readers, xoxo

8 October.

2011-10-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

everything's just gone...

hey lovely readers. :) MsVampy is back to update her rusty blog :3 alah, 6 days only. so far, EOY has started two days ago. started off with Mt paper, Art, Eng, SS. come on art, pls gimme and A1 at least! or else im gonna kill an ant if i get a B... and my SS, i totally flung it cos i learnt th essay tht didnt came out. so much for studying 5 hours. well, hepi to say i've been studying!! :D been to KFC for th past 3 days to study until 10pm ^^v seen alot of familiar faces.. :) haha!

today, its a friday! went home after sch and off to meet AlinaKJH<3 had our lunch at mac and started studying our geog. haiyaaa, why is geog so hard :/ nvm. saw skss students alot alot and others. ohh, went to d Alley to dance a while. dont even feel like dancing cs my brain is totally cooked with WORDS THT I CANT EVEN THINK OF HOW TO DANCE. #punbuleh (Y) haha.. ended up talking bout life. aftr tht headed to 185 to Abg's place. KIMIEYY!! ahhhhhh, i ws eating and she kept disturbing me. Zzzz, dn to plaza and homed at 11pm. nw am just using th lappy, since i wont be able to use it on sat and sun? having emaths lesson tmw murnin, and den off to study for geog. its th last lap for Sec 3 life, damn. i dont wanna fail any subjects :( alah amaths da tkle harap. EMATHS!! :'( nxt whole week is gonna be HELL.

ok, back to my life.. haha! im sure some of my readers/anonymous have been asking me about Haziq/ZaqDisalvo?? hahaha.. i know all of you are really curious you see. so let me answer bfre i get anymore cute questions from you guys. >< hahaha, you readers are so cute hahahaa. well ive onli met Haziq twice. first was when he came to my house during raya, which i tot he was a chinese which he wasnt bt a mixed blood. and coincidentally when i met huda, th prettygurl above, he was there! so yeah... hahaha, he's nt my boyfriend, his my fren. :) well, im sure he deserves someone better than me...... :) hahaha !!

- sometimes, i feel like im unwanted. you took me as an option. whenever i wanted someone really so bad, i always fail to get and they turned out th be th cause of my tears. idontunderstandwhy... why is love always unfair? ;( i placed high hopes on you, bt now. everything's just crashing down. i even thought that i saw you just now, you were staring at me. bt it wasnt you. i just give up on love...... i know deep inside, th pain im feeling which you dont. i just have to bear it all myselfi and be patient and wait for my time to come. im okay readers. im fine. ;')

i like you.

2011-10-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

SmexyKxtty,

hey!! today is 1st Oct and hepi children's day to all kids out there!! -.-" im still a kid laa chei no la. hahaa, 1 oct is d bombzxc! first... its a sat and im supposed to go for emaths lesson which i didnt :/ cs i was tired and i ended up sleeping on th floor again! and my dad went into my room and said " tido kt lantai lagi? prangai kucing. tkper2 papa tk kacau, g continue tido. " LOL my father is so funny! hahaa. woke up late, bathed and got ready to go esplanade. met up with Adriana, Syaz and Liza at cp first. gosh! th air at sk smells so poisonous >< had to cover my nose, cs its almost killing me. herh. trained to esplanade watch th concert. Laskar Pelangi was awesome! <3 i almost cried while watching haha.. den aftr tht had a change of plans. went to meet Huda Terbiat at Kovan. bought her hershey's !! well, coincidentally Zaq DiSalvo was there. haaha! you owe me gummies young man!! :) played bowling chatted and stuffs and homed.

watched Vampire Diaries Season 2! omg DamonDamon why are you so hot?!!?! :P heheeh! well nw am js tweeting. i guess tmw im gonna continue my art and start revision! goodnite readers! :)

skyscraper.

2011-09-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

you can break me, but i will rise from th ground.

hi dearest readers. im back again. sch's been tough, ive been struggling with my art, and also maths. nt forgetting my EOY is gonna start next tues O: and i have not finished my art yet.. nw's realli a crucial time and i cant slack to th extend tht im gonna do badly for exams if i start slacking! i terribly wanna pass my emaths you see. for amaths i dont realli care, cs i know i really have no hope for it. hais. its a friday, a happy day! cs in th morning, it was raining :3 after sch went home, and off to cp to do my art with Zoey and Peiying. saw Sezairi Sezali which he was standing infront of me, and we stared at each other cm bdk bodo. lol ok mission pass, managed to draw properly --" well my CA2 has yet to be done. im moving on with my SA2 which im doing on Journey :) i hope im gonna score! nt gonna waste time anymore, and planning to complete it by tues. :( thur is art exam! oh god. and i need to start studying my SS, Geog, Bio! Chem is still -_-" haha! and tmw will be goin to Esplanade to watch Concert. after show, shall go shop again. which i cant believe i spent $200 in two days -.-" lol. will blog tmw okay? gonna have to find wht im gonna wear tmw! and VAMPIREDIARIES 2 TMW!! READERS MUST WATCH AT 10.30pm CHANNEL 5!!! tht's all :D realise i've changed my blogsong again? ;') tmw is october, yet for th past 9 mths 2011 has nt been a good year afterall..

- its hard.....

o.o testing

2011-09-30T06:25:00.001-07:00

TAKEN DURING SEPTEMBERR HOLIDAYS!!!! hahaha so farni... taken at KFC with adriana. was taken after sch which i find it a waste of time for goin to sch during th holidays.... herh
sry fr late upload nw den i realise cn upload!! heheheh. this is th second video dt we made actually. wanted to try vlog?? which i failed yea hehe ok la testing oni. EH WAIT!!! there is one video in eyan's phone also. zzzzz tp tk upload lols. k la bye shall post ontop ok laa sry

hi.

2011-09-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

mitsuganae.

hello!! im back, hahaha. im so busy again due to sch, and readers are being asking me to update my blog. so here i am updating. errrrrrr, so far. school has been tiring for me can. mostly, my days are being filled up doing coursework! :( and yet, nw i have to redo all those 6 pages hais.. cs i find My Home is out of point referring to my research. wth ah lol. god..... i still have another 6 pages fr SA2 coursework this is killing me!! :/ have been focusing more on math nao, rather than sleeping in class. lol! so ytd, after sch gt ready and out to town to watch ABDUCTION!! saw Pipi. :D omg another action-packed-movie!! :D Jacob why are you so hot. T.T in th movie itself, Jacob was Nathan but nah , i still prefer calling him Jacob sounds sexii.. he's so protective in saving Caren :) if onli i have a boyfriend like him.. i wont let go! haha dream on shasha.. If only. ok stop.

hahah!! walked around town with friends like as if we had nth to do o_O dessert fr lunch and pastamania fr dinner. :) homed at 9pm. boring. and i gt grounded fr fuck again, fml. today sat went to sch early lo, reached at 8.30am and headed fr emaths lesson whoopwhoop im studyin!! cn you believe it hek hek. well.. itating sei shasha hahah. after tht had lunch and den went to 213 to study. :) and dn homed. at nite, well js came bck from 185 frm abg's place!! ok haha i was so scrared to carry th hamster -_- zzzZZzzz bt nvm. managed to in th end, but Kimie tht cute cat kept playing with my hair, beh oreo nk selit oni! lol hahah.. nw im home. wonder if i wuld be able to go out tmw to get my chingay certificate O: hais.

DAMONSALVATORE!!!

ahh see he likes kitties too ^^ hehee, my boyfriend mah cheii.. i tink if Taylor and Damon were to act in a show together it would be awesome ^.^v >> irritating face i will melt or maybe even better plus Edward and Stephen!! when i grow up i shall write my own Vampire Story of these sexii 4 vampires haha. js like wht ma frens said " shasha can become a Vampire Book Author. " LOL. anyhow ony!! oh am reading Hunted House Of Night Novel half of th book already. :) shall watch Final Destination later or read a book or smurf. hehe, and JigokuShoujo Season 3 is here! js tht its shown in Japan first -.- takecare. ~

im waiting for your text.

- SalvoD'SmexyKxtty.

8 June 2009 - 18 September 2011.

2011-09-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

hardest decision in my life, ever.

hi blogger. i had to put aside my work halfway, just to blog about something important. here we go.. yesterday night, arnd 2am. was about to sleep and had a flashback. ended up decided to log in my fb to check. checked and saw freddie sending me a fb msg. i knew from th start tht something bad was gonna happen. so he asked me th ultimate question, do i still love 8th? i gave him my most brave answer NO. yes, ;') we chatted, and 8th was in his house. so..... that's where everything happened. had cross talking, amidst in th middle of th conversation, i started crying alrdy. 8th told me, to move on and not wait fr him anymre. tht's bcs he has no more feelings fr me anymore and not to post anything anymore anywhre. so i said back, i've moved on. and dont blame me about all those posting, people still are looking out about us. and he replied, ok den nvm thn. jus say you have no mood to talk abt it~ hais. well den, he said. " dont blame me, blame my heart. " and my reply, " of course i wont blame you. tell me you'll hate for th rest of your life. " and he said, " ok ". tht's when everything ended once and for all...

yes readers, few days ago i've been starting to move on. and when everything seems to be done and over with, it happens on 18 September which i realise - it has th number 8 in it. sigh. well, now i've come to a decision of my life.

IM MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE AND NOT LOOKING BACK TO TH PAST. ;')

im done with everything. my life might be screwed somehow. i know, it might be hurtful for me. i hold on too long, i must let go. and im forcing myself too. im gonna be strong, and i knew im one strong girl. <3 for th fact tht my heart has been broken many times.... friends, families, readers, i hope all of you will be happy with me for making this decision. i dont wanna cry anymore about this.. so yes, tht's it. ill blog another day. time to focus on my studies. im sure God will give me a chance one day. i dont believe 8th will come back, and i dont even wanna think about it.

080609 - 180911

- idontloveyou, i just miss you.

...

2011-09-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

i've always never get any chances.

hey blogger, im back. its 2.22am. and im feeling down again, pls be there by my side always. every human has feelings, so do i. i hate th feeling of when someone forces me to love. hey, dont you know it is hard to fall in love? and once you fall in love, you'll intend to regret fr doing so. that's just because, you were being forced and your love is just fake. yet, you have no choice but you just have to make them happy for once or else they wont trust you. oh please.. im confused. you are just forcing me to love, but i just cant. i listen to my heart and emotions, i just dont know how to explain to you. tht im not in love with you at all. im just treating you as a bestfren. i've had enough of every heartbreak lately. and im just too scared to experience it again, which might take me a long time to recover. im just gonna be patient. but please, dont force me. i live my life, i am who i am and choose what i wanna do in my life. its just unreasonable when i get all th blame, just because i dont love you, but someone else. its just unfair. im really tired of everything. moving on, although... it just brings uncircumstances more. when is everything gonna end? all this pain? for once and for all? its been 2 years. im tired if people saying this and that about me, being single just reminding me of th past. i wanna be th best out of me, in th future. but there is just things that are stopping me. im grateful to have readers as you all, my friends and family who support me. but at th same time, i know somehow, someday i might just fall apart and breakapart. do treat humans fairly, if you dont know what does th word " LOVE " means, dont even try. i rlly wanna love you, but its just too hard. ;') do you know that, just for you. i had to sacrifice all my time. fr now, im just gonna smile and pretend you dont exist. yes, i admit im weak and im not strong enough. nobody cn ever know how i feel now. its only btwn me and God. i believe in him, and that one day everything tht i want in life, will be fulfilled. amin. ;')

hi!

2011-09-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

i dont know what's th meaning of love.

hii!! since an anonymous asks me to update my blog, here i am updating. apologies fr not updating, i've been very busy lately during th weekdays with sch and tons of hmks loaded in mui bag which are just endless :/ sigh. its a SATURDAY!!! meaning i cn sleep and wake up late on sunday, IF MY DAD IS NT AT HOME. okay, sch was tiring D: time constraint fr hmks due etc.. i shall update bout friday and today. on friday, after sch had gym training as usual. exception is tht there's no gym teacher -_- so we had to organise our own. ahhh it doesnt helps at all.. HAHAHA!! and den off to dance at cp with shehzad adib faz malek etc. wah!! th breakdancers are so frendly. i tried bgirl but i failed. hekhek. dn wnt to meet Ipan under th block dn homed. had a terrible headache right after that. -_- so i went to sleep and frgt to place my hp beside me!

and th next morning.. i was awoken by my loud ringtone of receiving a text msg asking me to wake up and go to sch fr emaths. ahhh was about to sleep man. nvm, so went to sch at 9am. and i waited fr half and hr bfre asyraf and pokka came. dn another half hour, k make it 1 hr dn kenneth came AND MR WONG WASNT THERE. BODO. waste my time. chatted and off to cp fr breakfast. dn homed, and RAIN!! hahaha gt ready and off to meet shixuan<3 at cp. its our 6 yrs 3 mths of friendship! whoopwhoop LOL. we went to Ice Skating!! so funzxc :D dn Pastamania, Nexx. i OVERSPENT TODAY ALMOST $100 -_- NOO :( dn bought some stuffs fr my room and Zoey's present. ok bought my tigger pencil box!! since my hello kitty pencil box is getting worse.. hahaha. dn off to 213 to slack with 236. tell you whutt, 213 is gonna be soon a 'place'. LOL. dn off to RP, to meet Fifi. dn bck to 213. okayy, had a H2H talk with Christabel and Baby. lul. dn homed. im gonna start my art as soon as im done blogging!! gonna stay up late today. :D okay, im done now.. takecare readers. i've gt something to say bfre i end my post..

" it takes a bitch, to know another bitch, before being called a bitch. dont ever judge someone if you dont really know tht person well. no point saying behind their backs, pretending to be nice in reality. have th guts to say right infront of their faces. if you dont, tht's when you'll be labelled as a double'sided-faced-Bitch. "

DS'K.

2011-09-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

take control over me.

trust me, i dont give a shit. hiiii lovelies! ^^ my eyes are so big like fish haha. blurp blurp here we go 8) lol. okay shall update about my weekends. herh, my one week hldy is fcuked up ;/ i didnt get to spend my time doing revision nor hmk, since i was busy with raya and outings all these. hais wht is wrong with me!! shasha change yourself, you got no motivation. like real onli :( on sat, we had a match vs NCHS. I WOKE UP LATE! -_- >> im a whale. k no. HAHAHAH. and worse, i took th wrong bus, im supposed to take 372 nt 85! i am dumb. dnt laugh! okay. we won 35-38. alhamdullilah. ^^ lol. and yes, i fell on th hard floor stupid court. and my knee was bleeding oh man ma blood is so fresh and red O.O !! :D yet, i have a hard time dancing. eee, dn went fr cip at rivervale. ended at 11.30pm until 12mid? walked to RP with Banana and th rest. homed kinda late cs my mum accidentally locked th door thanks mum. LOL. and my hp died. HEHEHE k

on sunday which is ytd, god damn it forced myself to go downstairs and do my hmk wahh. halfway, Ipan, Malek and Faris came yay finally gt fren 8) dn homed and off to Greendale Sec.. had this event thingy and i get to meet Sarah Aqilah backstage HAHAHA and nt to frgt Dj KC :DDD and homed. and i was rushing to do all my hmk. tht's it im done -_- my hmk is all screwed. its monday today! sch sch sch f it lol. and dn training.. im so tired hais, i still have loads of hmk tht are left untouched and due in few days time. TH END for me la ;'< back to hell HAHAH!! ok im realli tired right nao. and i still have alot of hmks to do including my art. ahhh yes... i still have th dance choreo due by friday oh man God is testing me lol. i think i shall off my lappy nao goodbye and fllw me at twitter xx <3

D'Salvo.

bye.

2011-09-08T04:04:00.000-07:00

im moving on.

suppppp! :D k first thing's first... idk why people start calling me Korean Girl 0: ni kes WanKOTAK AH!!! he keeps calling me korean girl HAHA omg so funni... ok hi im back <3 just for a while since im back from training uh huhhh. im tired! okay shall update about jalan raya. first about th 236 Jalan Raya okay this time didnt get to go much houses and i wore red!! k sumpah mendak lol.

th second one, on sat went out with 6 Joy'08. it turned out be onli me, faz, izz, wan. and then adib and shehzad joined us later :P whoopwhoop, at least goin out with pri sch frens is much more organised you know. we went to almost 10 houses? and got $40 plus duit raya ahaa. wanted to go more houses, bt nt much time you see.. okay la fine! at nite we went to.. ok cnt tell! cs got someone paitao us! argghhh!!! nvm. oh yah, were recruiting Dancers from Ex-Skps. adib, shehzad, are breakdancers. yana is a cheerleader, and i myself love to dance hiphop! amcm cool tk :P hohoh, dn we cn make a dance crew! th first dance meet up will be on this fri at th alley ^^ cant wait yayyyy. ~ ok shall do next post nao.

NO POINT WAITING FOR YOU

8th....

2011-09-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

i dont need you anymore in life.

hi babies i feel like blogging nao, cs i feel like i want to. hahaa. buleh gtu? pun buleh :> ill update bout ytd... ok you've seen some of th photos on top. that's WawahDurrah!! its been 6 mths i've nt being seen her eversince th last AzzuraChingayAppreciationNight. same goes to JulieBilly!! bb whre are you hahaha. alright, ytd was realli a random day. i saw wawah posting on her fb wall saying she wanna go out. so decided to bring her out laa. :D met at tamp first, gave her a hug. and i was shocked to see her grow tall, hello baby, fr th past 6 mths you have grown taller than me sia. :( shasha grow taller bitch.

so... we decided to go town 8) went to walkwalk at Ion FEP etc. nt to frget, went to H&M!!! sori la first time hahaa. and i brought shoes >< hmmms, my money fly again T.T sedeh per member. lol.... we kept going to Forever 21 outlets nk act young la kononnye. k la kite maseh young hehee :D walked here and there, nk jd Princess shopping shopping!! heehehe... dn went bck to sk 238 to watch Takraw. and then homed. :) at nite, Ash, Wan, Haziq, Yat came over to ma house. kecoh!!!! hahaha, dn sleeppp.. nxt day match vs CVSS OMFG WE WON!!! happi sia, slalunyer we always lose. lol, dn at nite off to amk to mummy's house ^^ hais my uncle thought i sec 1 sei. :( cs he see me short. LOL cab there, and cab home. duit pun burn ~.~ hahaha oh well, nw im currently crying. hais..... enjoi th pictures. <3

why must you leave me? :(

:)

2011-09-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

you are my dream, there's nt a thing i wont do.

helllu readers! sorri didnt update, was too busy with outings heee. cei cm phm, no la!! mon had sch at 7.45am. so boring. :( dn went to jalan raya with 236. ;> mampos, total = 21 people O_O okay la. went to meet at 238 first. yeah, welcome Joel, Christabel,Faz and Nana Dolly. :) thnks fr joining us yeah? :> hahah!!! first house, went to Zam's place at tamp. followed by haq's, dn asri, dn acap, dn mine and razin. nt much lol. too many things happened on tht day ;O nvm. last house was at Baby's, lepaakkkk~ i dk why bt th boys like to kick th lamposts smpi jahanam HAAHAHA. homed at almost 12 -_-

sorri bt i am lazy to upload 600 photos -.-" go take a look at Joel's fb!! he uploaded all 600 photos taken with his DSLR. thanks joel!!! :> i think photos will tell a story!!! im so lazziiiii to type laa :< still gt today's post summore. HA okay paipai

236. nt all :(

tired.

2011-09-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

repeat.

goodevening readers. im nt realli in th mood to type. im having mixed feelings right nao in myself which i cant realli describe.. well just start off with what i did today okay? sorri if i always feel down. due to some reasons. :<

today, my phone kept ringing. damn noisy, second night i slept with my laptop on again on ma bed. was supposed to wake up at 11am, ended up i woke up at 12pm --" im late!! bathed and quickly got ready and went to cp to meet Acap, Danny and Hirzam. off we went to Changi General Hospital to visit Firman. kecian firman, he had internal bleeding in his head due to soccer that time. get well soon my fren! :) aftr tht went to East Point to have lunch. kecoh sia, me and Danny cant eat cos Acap and Zam were making a fool of themselves -.-" nk makan pun tk aman! maintain. lol. dn went bck to 236. ErraKhalnisah, Hafeezah were there. k la bnyk jgk org. den went to 238, oh met Aqilah too. had some problems js nw, hope everything is fine. aftr lpk and takraw, went home. cause cousins came over to my house to visit. mcm sial, i like maid sia do this do tht. walao:( got scolded by my dad again.. hais. whatever la. :( oh i feel that my hip bone is getting some problems again. on my right side! -.- den answered some formspring questions. hais i feel so sad..

why do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me? i was born to tell you i love you, but nw im torn to do what i have to. just to make you stay with me forever. seem to be a lie, a countless, twisted lie. that made me learn to hate, and i hate myself for letting that pass by.

....

2011-09-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

bangbang, <3

hiii!!! today didnt do much. TGIF! hehehe. went out at 4.30pm with sissy to a home salon shop. sissy k la sister ahpui, highlighted her hair. cb so naise!! while i ended up cutting bangs! -.-" fr $2 oni hehee. cause i find tht my side bangs didnt realli came out well and my fringe was too thin o: i was talking bout cosplaying enma ai, can la sei ;> chei. nw i look like japan / barbie / korean(wankotak ckp LOL) . apa apa ah krg!! dn went to 185 to meet Abg Dinie and Ahrie. wankotak and Danny came and we went to 238 fr takraw. ;> nw im home, hais 3 days nt been eating well. i shuld say i've been skipping meals!! and today i didnt any eat any single thing o: nk diet! :) mcm phm. hehehe, js planned and outing fr 236 and 6Joy'08 priority. mon and friday. sat might be staying at home. and my september hldys aint gonna be a great holiday! cs im having lessons back in sch until 3pm, skss f you. haha, chatted with FeeHafizah js nw. so long alrdy nvr chat! she's been busy, omfg i miss her so much. glad tht she's back. :D and hoping to meet her one day. :) okayyy, nao chatting with marcus he say he want volleyball!! so funni omg hahaha. he is mad goin to pasir ris nao o: okay paipai. pictures taken with HudaTerbiat. :D

when i looked at your picture, memories started coming back.

DYNATRIX CREW!

2011-09-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

VampireSwagger, <3

happy teachers day to all teachers out there!! :D okay, on thur 1 sep woke up at 5am -.-" thankyou GeeGee fr waking me up! <3 he sanggop sey bngn siang stakat nk kejot o: went to meet th rest outside sch at 6.30am. dn went to do last min dance, and make up. sch sumpah budget, onli got one stupid fan tht is wurkin at th backstage. lol. makeup cair!!! herh, was so nervous fr th dance tht i eventually cocked up some steps. hais.... nvm, awesome! <3 snap some pictures and den off to 236 with Joel Zachary. oh!! i brought my PPG Pink Bag along!! :D

at 236, met up with th rest. wah, 236 crowded with so many diff type of people LOL. esp my batch o_o okay, saw Adib he's so tall nw!! TALLER THAN ME. CB last time so short like mad. but amazing thing is... he's into hiphop too!! he cn do flare omg o: went to talk to mrs yee with th rest of 6Joy'08 hehee. and then we went bck to our own classroom! its fun talking bout th past especially with your prischmates. hehhhh, after walking arnd doing silly stuffs, went home. dn bathed and out again to 238 to slack and tried to play takraw omg so funn 8) k sori i cant play my legs are short.. heheheeh! kk i tink too many pictures haha. ill end my post here. will continue posting! <3 i wont give up on dancing, because of You.

why wont you ever give me a chance.

slmt hari raya!

2011-08-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! :)

sorri fr th lack of updating, too busy taking photos chei no la. hahaa~ busy with dance practices etc, and hari raya of course. here are th pictures. more pictures are in fb! thankyu! :D

FATHER'S SIDE ONWARDS ~

Mr Tan's Family. i have a chinese uncle btw ~ :D

first day of syawal, woke up early. cs i was too excited. haha! bathed and went to attack th kueh tart in my house!! ooops termakan, i tot i was still fasting. lol. gt ready, okay frankly to sae. i have a whole bag of cosmetics, bt just tht i dont realli know how to use them. :( im nt a good make up artist, i suck hahaa. i swear o: cause i onli wear make up on certain occasions herh. first house th house dwnstairs! grandma's house. rendang ketupat ayam masak merah fuyyy, :D hehee. dn off to bedok father's side, admiralty, bukit batok. wanted to go to amk bt nt much time. first day $200 alhamdullilah. there's still mre houses to go!! hmmm, but im sure tht $200 i need to use some to pay thse pay tht to buy some stuffs :< hahha!!! okay, first day was awesome. and i felt tired. hmmms, kitty has blue eyes!!! :D yay, got to meet my cuzzins too so happi x1000 okay will continue posting later. about teachers day dance and so on. pictures in fb! i shall end this post this with.... wait coul cosplay and be enma ai you kno 8)

do you even hear me crying?

:D

2011-08-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Acap Kebabom ~ Bestfriend

meet this midget th opp chei tk la. k la this one i first time posting fr him on my blog!! be honoured la d bomb! 8) he nvr fails to make me smile lei, be it i happi or sad he would entertain me with ma nonsense. i know he has seen me cried befre, yet when im home, he nvr fails to cheer me up thru text/chat. :) hahaha!!! why you so funni ah!! he's my mama kitty xx since you all know mamat is my daddy kitty xx heheeh . glad to meet acap you know, some laughing gas in ma life. ahaha!!! ok i cnt tahan laughing , idk why bt sometimes we would talk nonsense and cock when were bored. gadoh la ini la itu la. da cm drama mama!! and uh, he always like to bulli me herh cs i midget. :( TKPER!!! maintain. hahaha ~ well, oh he has a nice voice! (Y) k laa talk bout wht summore? hahaa tuh jer la siketsiket jer k!!!! texting with this idiot nw. thanks fr everything, and all thse gummybears! hahaha lupchu bestfren xx <3

hello!!!!!!

ytd nite, was tweeting and fbing on ma bed. eehhee, and woke up in th morning perspiring cs too hot. hahaha ~ aper sajer. woke up bathed, dn off to cp for dance with Priska and Deela. haiyaa!! come on, im almost there fr th choreography . :( chips so hard.. den Acap, Wandi, Wan came ~ oh ya took a video of myself dancing!!! its in fb, bt still uploading. its kinda funni haaha nvm. den went to best to play piano, shiuk sendiri with deela. hehee, dn off to 236 to pass Wan's guitar dn off to CWP. yay!!! korean noodles omg my fav 8) bt eventually i gt lost halfway in th mall cs it was big o_o dn bought hello kitty top!!! happy gurl 96. in my list, need to get Gap Jacket, Jacket from Hereen aiya, skater dress etc. hmmmmm, dn home. nw texting with Acap tht stupid midget th opp!! hahaha k tmw raya eve, gonna be going over nenek's house to help and play with my cousins!!! i wanna wish all muslims out there Selamat Hari Raya. :) minta maaf klo shasha buat slh ker aper hahaa. scared i wont be able to update my blog on tues! errr.. at th same time im sad.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! :DDDD

return.

2011-08-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

doesnt mean your gone from my life, i dont love you. right here right now, im still thinking bout you. my love for you is still there, beating every second. eventhough your far away, and nothing could be done to change th past, i wont ever forget you. your name, you know very well, its always locked in my heart. you taught me how to love when i first step into th category of it. when you left, it took me more than a year to recover. all the sweet memories, its just too painful to erase. every word tht you said to me, i wont ever forget them. even your mum and my mum, had alrdy agreed with one another. 2 years are gonna pass soon, and im still nt giving up. your brother, told me not to give up. i hope, one day everything would change. i dont like th us now, whre we dont even talk. time changes everything, even you and i have changed. all other love, i have pushed. just because my love is only for you. but i know, it wont make any difference. i rmb every night we would always be watching th moon together. i wanna be in your arms once again, will you? hais. i dont wanna spend my nights crying out just for you. shedding every tear hoping you would return. i doubt you wont. :< ill always be waitin for you, no matter how painful it is. if you wanna do something, tell me straigt in th face. how much you hate me for th rest of your life, so that all my doubts would be cleared once and for all. i wont give up, istillloveyou. :') Rohaizat.

pictures taken at 238 jus nw with my grandfather - Aki LerhsollyPoppy. and bck from hg pastamania ~ thankyouu atok for listening to me.

he's moved on, im still grieving.

imissyou.

2011-08-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

im nt giving up on SHAIZAT. ;')

harluuuu :3 today i woke up cs i found myself perspiring on my bed o; hahaha! ytd nite, went to watch wujud at malek's place. k la nt tht scarii cn ;< and den, slept with my laptop on!!! haiya. bad habit. and oh, today baked cookies! cheiiii ;> k la nth to do mah. pipit and sepet is flooding ma wall. zzzz, bt oh well. like wht pit said, dont ever give up. i wont give up, ;') hais... ok stop it! hmmms, later gonna buka at CWP! yay! k la i've gt nth more to blog now. going to hg after this to thread my eyebrow and trim my fringe again cs its to thin LOL. oh today Tan Tan Tan Tan Tangent?? Toa Cah Soh ok vote

- whenever it comes to Raya, im always thinking bout you.

lose my mind.

2011-08-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

ze chachi ~

hellooo readers ;> (Y) hahah! today is a friday and i didnt even attend sch. i was just too tired and lazy -_- alah TGIF, boring jer. woke up at 11, went to meet Tupai at bus stop and off to hg to do my hair. costed $150 wad a bomb. nvm ~ hahah. side bangs!!! mcm bangs lol. dn to cp for dance. and home. today nvr puasa, semua lazy lol. and tonite going to Malek's house to watch Wujud 6 & 7 with Riley also. nt sure if tutting master Ipan is coming or nt herhhh. alah im at home alone, tmw would be doing kueh raya!!! mcm phm. sunday having practice again and den monday hari raya eve!!! yay!!! happi nya. but.... nw im cashless LOL. no money alrdy. ;( need to push aside $100 frm duit raya :( sedih per gurl LOL. nvm $$$ no hal. but also need to get th outfit fr th performance on thur. pala hotakkk ~ oh tk puasa, tk gy skola mampos tknk HAHAHA. k la im hungry, gonna fry something and den off to malek's house bringing my tiggerr!!! :DDD byebye.

dance!

2011-08-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

sexy love.

supppp readers!! look who's back, back again. SHASHA!!! hahah cut it seyh me myself and i. hehehe... common test was terrible! i failed my emaths and amaths terribly hahaha someone pls gobble me up ;< nvm gonna buck up!!! and yeah, thre was a last minute audition for th dance thingy in sch. so at first th usual 4 of us, choreograph some short song hah. den ended up suggestions were given for suggestions where we combined with Priska's grup. okayla~ we call ourself, DYNATRIX CREW! :) cool la hehehee. 2nd audition danced and did Tutting fr Crazy frog fuah. 3rd audition decided to dance Top of th world and Start it up combined!! yay!!! hahaha, hope gonna get th choreo done by thur. :( ok. oh ya! for th past 3 days, i've been slacking and dancing with ma Tutting Master - Ipan Rifhan!! bloody hell he's damn good! dn Malek of course my Hip Hop Master heeheh. and my neighbour. welll th good thing is that, we 3 live just beside each other's block. kn fun heehe, we cn dance anytime together!

okay today rehearsal hancur HAHAHHA. cnt play th song!! at nite , went to 238. takraw and dance with ipan, malek, riley. fuah~ 238 so manii people o_o okay la cool!! bt i get to meet th people tht i wanted!! heeheh, so happi well im tired nw. thre's still amath retest tmw. hais whts th point, fail alrd still retest? FAIL la jgn harap shasha pass. lol. dn rehearsal again. and uh, my wishlist is to learn dougie till th end, den followed by advance tutting den krumping. i wanna be like chachi. :( hais... must believe in myself i cn do it! :) okay, gonna study some amaths nw, and off to bed. i needa rest since ive been dancing vigorously for th past 4 days o; goodnite lovers! :)

bby pls dont go.

2011-08-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

pretty pretty please!

hello dopers swaggers hahhaha. k stop HI!! im back ;p common test was horrendous for me -_- LOL. ninapui! studied so much fr emaths and i went blank out when i received th paper hais. ;( gonna flung it terribly. even took th effort to study wit th rest and mr wong at burger king, for amaths till even it close! hahha! ok la productive, finally i understand how to do matrices ;> unlike ms mas's method. pfttt otak pecah!!! hahah ok sorri. ill just post bout friday and today k? ;>

ytd, plan ytd all last minute lei, haiya. after school gt ready and off to geylang with sister and abg ian to buy baju raya!!! haha k la $180 burn sia or shuld i say $200 -.-" hah aniways abg ian cm siyel, tenga panas2 haus pe shasha. dn he like this, abg ian : shasha gy makan ah minom ah haus ah kan. shasha : siyel ah abg ian : da batal da gy beli air shasha : gy jalan hahaha abg ian : ni setan bsr!!! shasha : _|_ haha irritating!!!! ;p whateber abg !!!! hohoh, dn went home put things dwn and off to meet Eyaan, Fir, Feeq. and dn bumped into Herri in th bus. haaha!!! dn met th rest, Izzul, Yannie, Zal, Asrul, HaiqalA at bus stop. dn farah! :D saw 142 people also. so funni la they all!!! ok dn off to Tamp to buka puasa dn geylang!!!

ok i met some people at thre, AhkaiYourWannabe, AnaSui, Zizi, Fyfynn, Khairi, Fauzie ah mcm2.. org nmpk shasha, bey shasha tk tau sey. :( sorri. ahaha but most importantly i get to bump into my cousin!!! HAIKALROKKSTAR! i freaking miss him sia. :( bumped on th road, dn i shouted his name. dn he sotong2, dn he realise. HEYVAMPY!!! haha stupid cousin ;p k la walked arnd, paleng benci part dengdengdeng!! knn so irritating. haahhha~ dn went to meet Ahmad and Shafie. bumped into Shira, Acit, Kathy, Abg Didi yay!! haha :) ok la aftr tht headed bck to sk 236, eat ben & jerry's wit th rest. #prangaibest. ahhaah~ giler sey. sleep. today, cleaned my room. haiya!! and successfully painted my room wall PINK! happygirl96 whoopwhoop chei. and buka alone today , hais sedih per. gonna continue kemas-ing my bilik. dn aftr tht sleep, and dn tmw cip kt geylang! -_-

2011-08-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

21mths without you by my side.

i need to stop procrastinating. yesterday, did some emaths, only 10 questions. hen hao -.-" lol. wonderful. was watching Walkin th dead and The Gates. cool shitxxc ;> charlie became a vampire in th end!!! and okay, ytd around midnite goin 1, someone prank called me -.-" ben called, dn said tht he want to introduce me to some cute guy otp. so we talked, and hello. i alrdy knew th voice, and it was HELMI RIDZWAN'S VOICE!!!! kuku LOL. prank me but failed. lol, den studied geog. and today, puasa yay. and i forgot to take out my stud. tkpe, niat maseh nk puasa!! <3 studied solid 4 hours of geog, productive. and im still there ;> but.... art is still nt done. im getting realli worried nw i swear. looks like tmw after sch i have to rush my chem and bio and then do my art. and im gonna reserve my tuesday just to paint th final piece ;<

fuckyou

2011-08-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

im loving you always.

gooddevening! its 3.52pm, almost 4pm. okayyy, today i tot tht i couldnt wake up at 8am tht i kept complaining!!!!! lol. ws texting ytd, and i fell asleep -_- nvm, murning was awoken by th alarm clock ahh wdff i swear so noisy!! dn stone again, gt awoken by my hp alarm. ccb kns~ LOL... dn stone for 5 mins, dn receive two msg!! walao. dn stone again, tweetdeck new update!! argh cnt sleep. vampire eventually gave up and went to bathe and off to sch fr geog and ss lesson. :) ended at 11am. solid 2 hrs chei ;> dn wentt tp peini's crib to play th piano, dn homed. js fb-ing. am gonna start my studying in 6 mins time!! and den 6.30pm gnna head to cp to buy fr mama ljs untk buka. ceh shasha seyh. ahh yeah, hmk havent do revise ~ die laaa. :( after goin cp, at nite gonna continue. lg2 bsk gy geylang! and monday is my geog and ss paper!!!! -'- nvm.......... ok i must nt procrastinate. oh yah!! see my hair ontop? i want it to grow longer, all same length js like pri sch. whre my hair ws long and of th same length. nw my hair is kinda dry, bt okay la. duin hair treatment yayy!! blw is my sister!!! lol, we all have th short genes -.-" bye xx

all tht waiting is regret.